With this ring, mom and daughter see red

DEAR AMY: Recently my adult daughter called to tell me that she had moved in with her boyfriend and that they were thinking of getting married. She asked if she could have the wedding band that belonged to her father (my late husband of 25 years). She said she wants to melt down this band to make a new wedding band for her possible future husband. In the same conversation, my daughter laughed and said she hoped she would inherit my engagement rings after I died. After a few days of consideration, I wrote to tell her no. Amy, my late husband's wedding ring is full of symbolism. It is one of the few tangible items I have left of our marriage. When I remarried, my second husband and I exchanged new wedding bands as a symbol of the new life we were starting together. I suggested that my daughter do the same. I haven't heard from her since. Her brother has suggested that I call and apologize to her. I have refused to do so. Am I out of line?Holding On to the Ring

DEAR HOLDING: I understand your daughter's desire to incorporate her father's memory into her own future. I also can understand your position.

And so, if I can see both sides, then why can't you two each acknowledge the other person's position and call it a draw? Your daughter is making plans for a wedding ring before she is engaged, and she is sizing up her inheritance before your death. This is immature, and very bad form.

You do not owe her an apology. You explained yourself well, but she might not have liked the answer. She needs to work on how she reacts when she doesn't get what she wants.

Call her and say, "Honey, your brother has suggested that I owe you an apology. Do you think I do? And if so, what do you think I should apologize for?" Acknowledge her disappointment. You don't need to be pressured into changing your mind, but she may need a motherly nudge to move on.