Yearbook!

Last Tuesday was photo day at Newsday. Here we have the high school sports staff, or, Mr. Cohen's 2009-10 class. For the parents of athletes, these are the folks entrusted to cover your kids.

L to R: Mike Gavin (but you can call him Wild Card), Mark Macyk (Ukraine is quite strong), Andy Slawson (your 10th grade gym teacher), Corey McLaughlin (the quiet one), Marcus Henry (the normal one); Center: Stephen Haynes (your favorite Underblogger), Bob Herzog (Paddy Pun-a-lot), Gregg Sarra (the most hated/loved man on Long Island), Adam Ronis (Mr. Roarke), Cody Derespina (real name, no gimmicks); Front: Kaela Mahon (pronounced Kayla Mann), Laura Albanese (Chuck Taylor), Chris Mascaro (sufferer of inferiority complex because Underblog > wrestling blog)

Detailed captions for each person...

Mike Gavin: Nicknamed the “Wild Card,” he’s the hot-shot rookie us scouts are high on. We’ll be handing him the keys (well, the master set) to the Underblog this spring as he covers tennis. The original quirky quartet will still keep their copies and we’ll be chiming in with randomness, but this guy will be the guy. As for the photo… Teddy Ruxpin in a leather jacket.

Mark Macyk: He’s been upstate covering basketball so he hasn’t gotten a chance to see the picture yet, nor have we gotten the chance to ask him why he wasn’t smiling. He’s in the back looking like a character from “Eastern Promises.” He’s a really jovial guy, too. But he’s Dwight Shrute in this.

Andy Slawson: I don’t know what he‘s doing, but I guess we’ll call it a game face. He looks like he’s two seconds away from blowing the whistle and ordering everyone to take a lap.

Corey “7” McLaughlin: He’s the quiet, mysterious one. And in the picture, he’s looking quiet and mysterious in the back. If you’re wondering about the seven: it’s his seat number in the office. The seats aren’t really numbered, but I’ve assigned numbers. I’m No. 4. He’ll say he’s 4 and try to swipe my spot, but c’mon, everyone knows Excalibur had one rightful owner. (Yeah, we really are like this.) What’s worse, he’s not giving me anything to work with and make fun of in the picture. That's pretty 7-ish.

Marcus Henry: The fake Underblog Captain. His picture popped up in the side column when the blog went up, but he wasn’t part of the crew. Track has its own blog. He’s the mature, normal one; the uncle of the group. He’s the guy who’ll overhear some of the weird (and they are weird) conversations going on and shake his head. In this picture, he looks like the guy who'd overhear some stuff and shake his head.

Stephen Haynes: Your omniscient narrator (and favorite Underblogger). I didn’t wear the suit for the photo shoot, if that’s what you’re thinking. It was a for-fun thing birthed at 1 a.m. during one of the about-nothing e-mail sessions with Laura and Cody (the other suited guy). I told him we should wear suits to work that day for the heck of it (I told you, it’s an odd bunch). We agreed. Laura then informed us of the shoot being that day, so the suit thing was definitely happening. Yes, I look like one of those shifty TV preachers in this pic. I'm Rollo Goodlove (+2 to anyone who gets that without Googling).

Bob Herzog: He’s our Dapper Dan. We picture him wearing a button-up and khakis for pajamas. He was mad that two people wore suits and out-flew his flyness; stuntin’ on a stunter. Ahhh, in yo face!
/hopes the slang hasn’t changed since I was young

Gregg Sarra: I had to shrink the picture to this size so it wouldn’t stretch the page and force readers to scroll across. Now it’s too small for you to see what’s on his jacket. That’s the MSG Varsity logo. Gregg Sarra : MSG Varsity :: Tiger Woods : Nike. And his new TV gig ensures the Tom Tucker mustache isn’t going anywhere.

Adam Ronis: We call him the old man. He’s not the oldest writer, but he’s the one we most enjoy calling old. Plus he’s got that gray streak like Rogue from X-Men. And I’m pretty sure right before this picture was taken, he made some unbloggable joke.

Cody Derespina: That’s twice in a row I’ve used his real name. More than I ever do in real life. He’s usually “Corey” or whatever random “C” word we think up (Cobblestone, Coltrane, Costco, Coleslaw, Codeine, Cosmetology, Codfish, Coppertone – we could go on for, well… we’ve been going on for a year). Gotta make fun of the smile. Doesn’t it look like a Katie Holmes type of half-smirk? You wouldn’t buy a ’97 Thunderbird from that guy.

Kaela Mahon: “Da Girl/Da Udda Girl” (we’d get in trouble if we explained that one). Her orange sweater adds some brightness and livens up the picture. And I’m gonna put this on here because it’s what I do: “Look, Kaela and I are the same height… when I’m sitting down,” Laura said. Oh no she dih-en! Mmm-hmm. Feel free to snap back, Kahlua. Oh, and the ponytail. That’s another inside joke we can’t explain here.

Laura Albanese: "Da Girl/Da Udda Girl." That smile looks forced, doesn’t it? You can’t fool the people. In person she’s mean and cruel and never smiles. Mrs. Mock-a-lot. (And it was DE JURE!)

Chris Mascaro: If you say his name fast it almost sounds like “Christmas carol.” Random, I know. Yeah, he was sitting on a chair up front. You remember from class photos who they put up front. Uh-huh. And he knew, so it took some prodding from the photographer to get him to sit. No doggy biscuit, though. Another purpose for him being up front was to make it more difficult for the guys who’ll click “save picture as…” and try to crop out all the dudes in Microsoft Paint.