Young in-law has worn out his welcome

You sound like very nice and generous people, but every time you passively seethe, you miss an opportunity to force this young person closer to adulthood.

You and your husband should work together to launch him. You should write down a list of household chores he must perform each day. Sit down with him (together) to give him reasonable goals and expectations. Let him know that you will help him with ideas, transportation, etc., for a job search, and set a reasonable length of time to find something.

With the economy picking up, builders are looking for workers. If he isn't willing to even look for a job, you should send him to the military recruiter's office. The military offers job training and direction for young people, as well as an opportunity to serve the country.