Young mom needs to party less, parent more

DEAR AMY: My daughter is 23 and has a 9-month-old. They live with me. My daughter works five days a week 3 to 10 p.m., and I watch the baby. I tell her she has to be back by 2 a.m. when she goes out. She wants to stay out however long she feels like. She is my only child, and her personal life is a mess. She has made some bad choices and decisions.Concerned Mom

DEAR CONCERNED: Your daughter is not a "kid." She is a grown woman and a mother.

As the frequent, regular caretaker of her baby, you have a right to expect her to limit her "going out" time. Her primary job should be to be with and take care of her baby when she isn't working outside the home.

She should not tell you when she is going out. She should ask you in advance if it is convenient for you and if you are willing to baby-sit. She shouldn't have to tell you where she is going, but she should make sure you can reach her, and she should return at a decent hour - 2 a.m. is reasonable.

DEAR AMY: My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years. We're in college and live together. Lately I've noticed that we really don't have much in common. We can never decide on something to do that we would both enjoy - from things to do at home to dates, vacations and what and where to eat. If it's something I want to do, she doesn't have a good time. Even though I try to have a good time when I'm out with her, she ends up grouchy or sad and wants to go home. The only thing we seem to enjoy is sex. I feel it's the only thing we have in common. Can you help?Uncommon Love

DEAR UNCOMMON: To enjoy the fullness of a balanced relationship, couples must embrace (or tolerate) one another's friendships and interests and develop shared interests. If after three years you don't have this compatibility, it's unlikely you'll develop it.