Expressway: I vote to end robocalls!

First there were the annoying telemarketers offering to sweep my chimney or pave my driveway. They always called, it seemed, just as my wife and I would sit down to eat dinner. Then the banks called incessantly with their dire warnings about credit card and identity theft and the need to purchase identity protection. First two months free, cancel any time. Charities called with urgent appeals, making me feel guilty for hanging up in the middle of their spiel. (Sorry, but I don't accept telephone solicitations.) Colleges my wife and I graduated from made never-ending requests for money to build a new state-of-the-art science building or a brand new sports center. More guilt.

With the help of the National Do Not Call Registry, which shuts out all calls except those from nonprofits, my wife and I were finally able to eat in peace most nights. Caller ID is a godsend; we don't take calls from those we wish to avoid. And the telemarketers and charities generally have the good sense not to leave messages on answering machines.

The election season, however, is another story, with its own set of annoyances. It's bad enough we have total dysfunction in Washington and a depressing group of presidential candidates. We now have a relatively new plague, one that has become increasingly irksome in the past few elections: political robocalls. Politicians send out recorded messages that we can't entirely escape and leave their long-winded messages on our answering machines.

Everyone running for office, it seems, from local legislator to dogcatcher, has my telephone number. How annoying it is to come home, see the blinking light on the answering machine, and then hear an endless attack screed as Joe Bloviator or Jane Windbag charge their opponents with everything from pedophilia to associating with the devil to being closet Red Sox fans. Last year, a candidate left a message so long that it nearly took up all the time available on my answering machine; it was then followed by a message from a friend that was summarily cut off as the machine ran out of digital recording space.

Let me make this clear to all politicians: If you call me at home with a recorded message, I WILL NOT VOTE FOR YOU! And if you leave a message on my answering machine that is more than a minute long, I will actively campaign against you.

It's bad enough that we're exposed to your strident, dishonest and misleading ads on television, but at least I can always change the channel. I deeply resent, however, that you use the precious space on my answering machine for your empty campaign promises and vitriolic tirades against your opponent.

No, I really don't believe that you will lower taxes, balance the budget, fix the economy, eliminate waste, clean up government and make the Mets into a contender. Nor do I believe that your opponent is an unwashed heathen and terrorist sympathizer. Not unless, that is, your opponent also left a message on my answering machine.

What we urgently need is a National Do Not Call Registry for politicians, not just telemarketers. Now if you can deliver that, you'll have my vote.

Reader Michael Golden lives in Great Neck.