Expressway: Reasons to love Valentine's Day

I believe that any woman with a heart in her chest has been raised to have that heart broken on Valentine's Day, a holiday which, after all, commemorates the execution date of a Third-century Christian martyr. From our days in high school, when we'd lament the absence of that "certain someone" while waiting in vain for the mail truck to pull up with love notes from unknown admirers, to current visions of midnight soaks in huge Jacuzzis and gazes exchanged over candlelight meals in out-of-the-way restaurants, we're doomed to disappointment. Yet I have to admit, Valentine's Day stubbornly remains my favorite holiday.

Just as New Year's makes us think of accomplishments and goals, Feb. 14 conjures up romance and undying declarations of love. For many men, Valentine's Day conjures up an uncomfortable holiday created by Hershey and Hallmark, a sort of final examination for their relationships, requiring at least a card (mostly hand-delivered because it was purchased minutes before) and maybe a slightly underwhelming present.

Studies show that women buy almost 85 percent of the 1 billion cards sent each year. I think most would agree that whoever decided that comic valentines were a good idea should have been given a timeout to think about it. Almost 25 percent of all cards fall into the humor category, mostly sent by those 35 and younger.

What's the purpose of involving Cupid in our snide and cynical world? The same with the Necco hearts that now say "Diva," "What's up?" and "Email me" instead of "Sweetheart" "Be Mine" and "I Love You." Are we too cool to tell the people who keep us functioning, who give us the reason to function at all, that we love them?

I am the target audience -- no, I am the poster child -- for the greeting card industry. I'm one of those who spends way too much time in the card aisles of stationery stores from Roosevelt Field to my local Barnes & Noble in Manhasset, choosing exactly the right messages for my husband, children, father, mother-in-law, sister and five closest friends. While candy and flowers are nice touches, to me the words are the real gift. To remind them all of the comfort and strength their love gives me, and how much harder my life would be without them, is a once-a-year opportunity provided by Valentine's Day.

It would be nice to say that my holiday includes poetry and sighs, black pearls and sexy (yet incredibly flattering) red lingerie. But it is nicer to say that the love I suspect most of us celebrate is far from blind. It is clear-eyed and grateful, constant and honest, earned and returned. We are at our best when we express our love. After all, these are the people who know us best and love us anyway.

What else never grows old? What else will survive us? What else promises chocolate? Happy Valentine's Day!

Reader Marcia Byalick lives in Searingtown.