Words matter; let's use them with care

Imagine if our words left visible marks on others, just as physical actions can. If we saw the impact our words had, would we still say the things we do? Would we stand silent as others speak cruelly?

The holiday season invites reflection. We count our blessings, cherish loved ones, and feel the ache of those no longer with us. For families like mine, who have experienced the unimaginable loss of a child, the holidays bring a unique and profound grief. The natural order feels broken, and memories resurface, as we seek signs of the presence we long for.

Recently, I revisited my son Vincent’s college essay — a reflection of his heart, his wisdom, and his desire to spark meaningful change. He wanted his words to make a difference. Vincent spoke often about the challenges young people face, particularly the harshness of high school life. He described it as a “dog-eat-dog world” where vulnerability was a weakness and survival demanded a tough facade. His essay tackled bullying, but it went deeper. One passage struck me then, and resonates even more today:

“Most schools think they have a drug problem, an alcohol problem, or even a bullying problem when in reality, they have a value problem. Somewhere along the way, a child stopped believing their life was valuable enough to be treated with care. Most people know it’s wrong to steal dignity from others, but if you don’t value yourself, you don’t value others, either.”

Vincent understood that words have incredible power. The labels we attach to others — especially negative ones — can become internalized, shaping self-esteem and identity. The pressure young people face to conform is relentless. Adults often dismiss this as “growing pains,” but for a child, it’s an emotional roller coaster with real and lasting consequences.

Vincent also reflected on the connection between self-worth and substance use. He recognized that drugs and alcohol mask pain, just as Tylenol numbs symptoms but doesn’t cure the cause. The real issues — low self-worth, unresolved trauma, and the sting of cruel words — remain unaddressed.

Vincent’s struggles included substance use disorder and anxiety, which eventually led to deep depression until my beautiful son passed away from fentanyl poisoning at age 25.

With my lived experience and as an educator, I know how much time we spend with young people, and how much influence we wield. We are role models. Every word we speak matters. It shapes how they see themselves and the world. To make a difference, we must first examine the language we use.

One of the most powerful ways to protect young people from the harm of unkind words is to help them recognize their intrinsic value. When someone understands their worth — when they know that their value isn’t dependent on others’ opinions — they are less likely to internalize negativity. Words only hurt when they touch upon doubts or insecurities within us. Strengthening self-worth builds resilience against harmful words and empowers young people to reject the lies they might otherwise believe.

As we move forward, let us choose our words with care. The cost of careless words is too great to ignore, and the rewards of compassionate language — though they may take time to unfold — will endure a lifetime.

Hold fast to your intrinsic values, and let them guide the language of compassion you use each day. You never know whose life your words might heal or inspire.

This guest essay reflects the views of Sharon Richmond, a teacher in the North Shore school district and member of the Town of Huntington Opioid and Addiction Task Force.