OPINION: After all this hysteria, it's time for some Hilaria

Eileen White Jahn of Rockville Centre chairs the business administration department at St. Joseph's College in Patchogue.

One early spring morning my young children limped into their school lobby, past the nurse's office. The horrified woman took in their bandages, slings and head wrappings. Clutching her chest she croaked, "Car wreck?"

"No," they replied, "April Fool!"

I love this holiday. It's fun, it's informal and, most important, it has yet to be invaded by Hallmark.

Its origin is a little obscure, but I am sure it has something to do with naked pagans and the vernal equinox. Some historians think it's a descendant of the old Roman Festival of Hilaria, which started on March 25 and lasted till the first day of the next month. What with all of the recent hysteria, I think we could use a little Hilaria these days.

Our family has always loved a good practical joke; I think we get it from my mother. When we were kids, she'd start at the breakfast table, informing us that the school had called and canceled for the day. Hope always triumphed over wisdom, and just as we set up a cheer, she would laugh and utter those dreaded words - "April Fool!" - smiling broadly to reveal a front tooth she had blacked out with licorice gum.

Then the games began, each of us trying to top the others. "Look out behind you!" "There's a spider on your shoulder!" We wouldn't believe a thing for the rest of the day, which is a little dangerous. A car once narrowly missed my brother when he failed to heed our warning.

My mother still continues her pranks via early morning calls to her grandchildren, before they realize what day it is. Sometimes it's the old school closing prank, sometimes it's a plague of locusts coming. It has so eroded her credibility that last year, when she called me on March 31 with the news that the house next door burned down and nearly took hers with it, she had to preface it with, "This is not an April Fool's joke." Naturally, I figured it was. It was not.

I particularly love the more elaborate jokes. I once got a neighbor by having my son carry a large box over for me. I apologized that I had mistakenly received and opened his delivery. We set it on the table, and just as he bent over it, out burst the arms and legs of my skinny little daughter. He was scared so badly that he insisted we do it all over with his wife.

Another year the holiday occurred at the beginning of a school break. We drove out to the Hamptons to visit a friend who'd been having trouble with vandals knocking down her mounted mailbox. We arrived and quietly inched our car up until it was touching the pole. The kids and I blew up white trash bags and lay over them like air bags. Then we set off the car alarm. My friend was so frightened that she was not amused. For one minute. And then she was so amused we had to stage things all over for her friend around the block.

The best April Fool's Day we had was also a family affair. We purchased a blowup stork with a sign that proclaimed, "It's a boy!" From early morning on we drove around to all of our friends and relatives who were most definitely not having children. We prowled their lawns to set it up, then hid and waited. My widowed sister was alerted by a phone call from a scandalized neighbor. One friend was insulted, thinking we implied that she was fat. But that didn't stop her from directing us to her best friend's house. We probably set that thing up a dozen times.

It's good to get a little silly sometimes - goodness knows we can use a little levity in this life. This year, I'm planning something really funny. I'd tell you all about it, but this is a family paper and it involves naked pagans . . . April Fool!