OPINION: No-fault divorce will hurt the disabled

Lou DeCaro lives in Wading River.

When I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2002, I was told to put together a support system of neighbors, friends and health care providers near my home.

Since that diagnosis, I've had three heart surgeries, and MRIs revealed an ischemic mass on the right front lobe of my brain and advanced cervical spondylosis. My health forced me to retire early, and I am now classified disabled.

Frankly, I don't know how I would have survived all of this without my support system. For if that wasn't enough, my wife left me and filed for divorce in 2004. After 31 years of marriage, all of a sudden I had become a burden. But I was able, thanks to New York's stringent divorce laws, to go to court to preserve what I had.

A year later, the matter went to trial. Her complaint was dismissed, and the divorce was denied.

Though we no longer live together, we are technically still married. By preventing the divorce, I was able to preserve my support system. I remained in my home and didn't have to find new doctors and health care facilities. I was able to go about my routine in familiar surroundings - albeit alone.

A lot of people wondered why I wanted to remain married to someone who no longer wanted me, but when I explained how my overall health could be affected, they understood. I wasn't trying to be selfish by preventing the divorce. I had to think of my own physical well-being and security.

Now, under New York's new divorce law, my chances of preventing a divorce are slim. The new law stipulates that a marriage is over if the parties have lived apart for six months. Once all the financial matters have been settled, the divorce becomes final. It may be impossible for a medically disabled person like me to pick up the pieces and move on.

Gov. David A. Paterson's signature will make it easy for someone to abandon a sick spouse by hiding behind the veil of irreconcilable differences.

When I volunteered for the Long Island Chapter of the American Parkinson Disease Association, I met a number of men and women who were abandoned because they were seriously ill. Adding insult to injury, under the new divorce law, the sick spouse could wind up paying maintenance and legal fees to the abandoning spouse. Instead of fault, the new law contains formulas to decide who gets what.

No person should be cast aside for having an unwanted disease - and no law should make doing that easy. Members of the State Assembly and Senate clearly didn't think about the medically disabled before they wrote this bill. Paterson should think about us before signing it.