This year, a reason to give thanks early
A roasted Thanksgiving turkey in Concord, N.H. Credit: AP / Matthew Mead
Thanksgiving is arriving early at the Grosses in East Northport. My husband, Herb, and I have been married 53 years, and we're hosting our 53rd Thanksgiving. But for the first time, our harvest holiday will be held Sunday instead of on the traditional date.
Why? Because Sunday is the only day this month our extended family can get together. My son David is in from Los Angeles for a business meeting in Manhattan. My daughter, Terri, and son-in-law, Henry, live in Commack, but sometimes work on holidays. Herb and I are snowbirds, flying south for the winter on Wednesday.
So Sunday we're eating turkey and giving thanks, joining the new trend of "have it your day," following a calendar of convenience.
Back in the day, getting the family together for holidays was easy. I grew up in a packed house in Rockaway. Four generations in a three-story home. My grandma Tillie lived upstairs, and cooked Thanksgiving for 14 or so people. Everyone was available.
Today, grandparents don't always live upstairs or around the corner. We're global, not local. We don't always live in the same time zone. My friend Marcia from Commack has a far-flung family, like so many Long Islanders. One daughter lives in Europe, another in New England. Sometimes they eat Hanukkah potato pancakes in February.
My friend Susan from Douglaston is a snowbird who leaves for Florida in October. This year, she's flying back to Long Island to spend Thanksgiving with her family. Susan doesn't always come home for Mother's Day. Taking a cue from Presidents Day, which compresses Washington's and Lincoln's birthdays, Susan invented Parents Day, which she celebrates on Long Island on Father's Day.
My friends Tom and Steffi from Merrick weren't feeling well enough to attend their son and daughter-in-law's seder last year in Brooklyn, but they didn't miss out on seeing and hearing their grandchild recite the ritual four questions because everyone had an iPad and they Skyped the seder.
Jews follow a lunar calender, hence the quip, "Jewish holidays are always early or late, never on time." Not for my cousin Jules in Boynton Beach, Florida. These days, Jules hosts an always-on-Saturday seder. Jules' extended family members live far away and can't fly to Florida for a mid-week seder.
Which brings me to my upcoming flight to Florida and my mixed feelings about the actual Thanksgiving.
Yes, we'll have family fun today. Yes, clan is important, but what about country? Are we narcissistic? Dissing tradition? My husband has a plan. For Nov. 26, we've invited our dear friends Roberta and Marty to join us at our house. They're "rounders" -- former Syosset residents who moved to Florida year-round -- and won't have their extended family with them. We're calling it a Snowbird Thanksgiving, and the bird we're stuffing for the four of us will be a chicken.
Yes, I will again serve cranberries, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie, and comfort myself with my friend Marcia's take on the holiday trend: "It doesn't matter when we celebrate, as long as we're together." Maybe it's true, but to be honest, cooking two Thanksgivings is double trouble.
Reader Carol Cott Gross lives in East Northport.
