Zhang: The Facebook message, 'Look at me!'

Steven Zhang, a rising senior at Cornell University, is an intern for Newsday Opinion.

It's funny how even a glimpse at the news feed on Facebook or a Twitter page can reveal some of the most irrelevant details of people's existences.

From a neighbor's complaint about this evening's traffic to a co-worker's description of his lunch, these digital updates make you wonder what compels them -- and, make no mistake, many of us are guilty of it -- to so faithfully update their friends on their minuscule progress in life. Information overload is already such a problem; these individuals can't really believe the rest of us are concerned about their everyday happenings, can they?

So why do they do it?

Networking and socializing, sure. But apply a bit more scrutiny and the decision to publicize even the most mundane acts is irrational. How are the photos of last week's birthday party for grandma even remotely relevant to a co-worker?

The real reason behind this shameless display of our private lives is simple: We love to show off. At heart, we humans are performers seeking approval. And what these two social media platforms have accomplished is to easily satisfy this urge, allowing us to broadcast even our most insignificant decisions for others to judge.

This is the key to Facebook and Twitter's universal popularity: They appeal to our most narcissistic impulse to tell people how great we are, so that they can reaffirm our greatness.

We don't post pictures or update our statuses to entertain others, but to feel good about ourselves. After all, there is no "dislike" button on Facebook.

So it makes sense that New York Reps. Anthony Weiner and Chris Lee sent pictures of their most valued assets into cyberspace: It wasn't bad judgment as much as self-interest. They wanted -- and needed -- to convince people of their machismo, of their power in status and form. Whatever their motivations, whether they be hyperactive sex drives or midlife crises, their pictures were personal ads seeking attention and affirmation.

Yet it is a disturbing cultural trend. What Facebook and Twitter have done is erode faith in our own self-impressions.

Before the Facebook era, we did things -- cooking, gardening, reading, traveling, partying -- for pure self-enjoyment. Now, in an era when social media have become the backbone of many of our social lives, we engage in activities partially for our own enjoyment and partially to tell others about it -- and, we hope to earn their approval.

It no longer suffices to just do something and leave it be. Now, we have to tweet about it in real time, post the photos afterward and update our statuses with progress reports. Otherwise, God forbid, our "friends" might think we lead boring, unaccomplished lives.

And that's the problem: Facebook users have become too dependent on social media for feedback on their personal lives.

You know that even if you receive no "likes" after spending an afternoon baking cookies and posting their picture on Facebook, they aren't any less delicious. You know that if no one comments on the photo album you uploaded of your trip to Thailand, your vacation wasn't any less interesting. And when you update your status to tell people about a job promotion and it is reciprocated only with an uncomfortable silence, you aren't any less accomplished. Nevertheless, your ego still gets a little bruised.

Social media were supposed to enable us to connect with one another. And they do. But we've elevated their role to an extreme, giving Facebook and Twitter the power to carve our identities. So, ask yourself before posting a picture on Facebook: Is it about me or them?