Just Sayin': This year, it's a special Memorial Day

In November 1972, as an eighth-grader at St. Martin of Tours School in Amityville, I purchased a prisoner of war bracelet. That Vietnam War serviceman, First Lieutenant Jonathan Bednarek, had just been declared missing in action. I prayed nightly that he would be found, and in my naivete, I thought he would return home soon.

My understanding of the Vietnam War at age 13 was beyond limited . . . completely over my head. I vaguely remember bringing in the assigned weekly “current events” article about the war taking place in various unpronounceable territories far, far away.

Back then I can remember turning on the television, “watching the war” and feeling so confused by the controversy. I was saddened by how poorly many of these soldiers — practically kids — were treated upon returning home.

Still, I wore my bracelet and never took it off for many years, not even for my high school prom.

I learned, coincidentally, that my serviceman was from Long Island, and I made a few attempts to write to his family but never sent a letter because the more time passed, the more uncertain I felt about how my letter might be received. Were the Bednareks hopeful that their son was still alive? Or were they resigned to his probable death, and if so, would my letter cause them more pain?

Finally, in 1989, when I was 30 years old, it was announced on the evening news that Jonathan Bednarek’s remains had been found and returned home.

I can’t explain why, but as I watched the TV, stunned, I suddenly felt this urgent need to call the Bednarek family and let them know that their son had not been forgotten. Impulsively, I called information, got their phone number and started dialing before I even formulated what I would say.

Jonathan’s elderly father answered the phone, and I just sort of blurted out my name, told him I’d worn his son’s MIA bracelet since I was a young girl and expressed my condolences. His voice sounded a bit frail, and he was most gracious. I doubt we spoke for more than two minutes. When I hung up, I just stood alone in my apartment and wept. A bittersweet closure.

This Memorial Day, I’ll proudly wear Jonathan’s bracelet to the local parade (that I just learned passes near my new house). It will be my honor to pay tribute to him and to all our brave men and women who fought in World War II and the Korean War, as well as the men and women who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan.

As for the Vietnam veterans, who hold a special place in my heart, even more than thanking them for their service, I would like to say, “Welcome home.”

 — Pam Uruburu, Bayville