Retirement: Seniors who stay on Long Island instead of moving South

Marian Dulberg moved from a four-bedroom, two-bathroom house into a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment in 2022. Her original plan was to head to North Carolina after retiring, but instead, she just swapped Nassau County for Suffolk.

"I miss my house, but I'm happy," said Dulberg, 73. "I'm near my daughter, my son-in-law, my granddaughter and the beaches. I love Long Island."

Long Islanders have some of the highest median property taxes in the country, according to The Tax Foundation. And median home prices continue to climb here, too, particularly in communities that are already among Long Island's priciest areas. Our region's cost of living has driven plenty of retirees away over the years.

So the decision for many seniors to stay on Long Island despite it all are driven by emotion, experts say. They want to be close to their families or downsize in a familiar place, instead of taking the leap to a warmer climate and more affordable housing down South. 

However, seniors can face different kinds of challenges than first-time homebuyers while hunting in the current market on Long Island.

James Britz, executive vice president and chief operating officer of the Long Island Housing Partnership, said the nonprofit offers financial assistance programs and posts rental applications that could help those looking to downsize. But he recognizes a significant issue in Long Island's housing market that seniors could face while doing so.

"There is a lack of inventory out there, and home prices are at their highest," Britz said. "So even if a senior lives in a home now and sells it, they may feel that what they're paying for a condo or a smaller house, is what they just sold their bigger home for, or maybe a little bit less."

Making the move

Young baby boomers (those currently age 60 to 69) account for the highest percentage of both homebuyers and sellers, according to this year's Homebuyers and Sellers Generational Trends Report by the National Association of Realtors (NAR).

As for the reasons they move, 27% of homebuyers age 60 to 69 said it was due to life changes, such as retirement or children moving out; 46% of buyers age 45 to 59 (considered Generation X) moved for the same reasons.

Stacy Zigman is a real estate agent for RE/MAX City Square, with offices in East Meadow and Forest Hills, Queens. She specializes in helping seniors buy and sell homes. It can be difficult for them on an emotional level to undergo this transition, and then there is the added pressure of the market, she said.

"My clients want to move closer to family, relatives, friends," Zigman said. "It's not really simple for them in any market, but in particular, a market where there's less available."

Starting the process early can help, Zigman said, especially for seniors looking for something specific in such a competitive market.

"Most of my clients are coming from large, multi-level homes, so they want a manageable living space with one level," she said. "And they want the ability to have more of a social atmosphere. If they've been living at home and lost a spouse, they may feel more isolated, and their loved ones want them to have different amenities. A low-maintenance lifestyle is important to them."

Some seniors might just want to simplify their lives. Data from the NAR's report showed 24% of buyers age 45 to 59 wanted to downsize. The same goes for 19% of buyers age 60 to 69.

Downsizing woes

Denise Chase and her husband downsized in 2015, after living in their Seaford home for 35 years. Keeping up their home as their children grew up and moved out was "really hard," along with maintaining an in-ground pool, she said.

The packing and moving process was difficult, because "things had accumulated for all that time. We have two sons and they still had things in that house," she said. Chase went from four to two bedrooms, and ended up donating lots of items to Goodwill and Salvation Army, along with selling a few things on Craigslist.

"At that time, we did not want to sell our house until we had found a condo," she said.

The couple wanted to stay in Nassau, but made the move to Suffolk because they realized they wouldn't make enough profit on their house to cover the cost of a condo.

"So we started looking in Suffolk County and we found one pretty quickly," Chase said, "and it was a brand-new build so we had time to move."

Chase, who is retired, has lived in three condos since leaving her Seaford home. "There were a lot of things we didn't realize when we moved to a condo," she said, citing proximity to neighbors and, in some cases, lack of parking.

But now residing in Nesconset, she feels that they've found the perfect fit. Chase appreciates the space and the fact that the condo association takes care of the outdoor maintenance. She also now lives closer to her son and grandson, who are in Ronkonkoma, while being a short drive from Long Island MacArthur Airport. Her other son, who lives in Miami, can fly into that airport to visit.

"This one that we're in, we're very happy with, because it's almost like our own house," Chase said. "We have a driveway, we have a garage, three bedrooms, three bathrooms. ... That's really what we should have looked for from day one."

Anna Beigelman, a real estate agent with Exit Realty Premier in Massapequa, hosts quarterly, free seminars about downsizing at libraries and community centers. She said to attain this low-maintenance lifestyle, seniors often endure a daunting ordeal in cleaning out their homes.

"The No. 1 challenge is figuring out what to do with all their personal belongings," Beigelman said.

And when selling or donating isn't in the question for certain items, seniors might invest in more space — even while trying to downsize.

"Sometimes they'll put extra things in storage, because maybe they're not ready to decide what to do with things that are personally valuable or nostalgic," Beigelman said. "I have clients that have 50 years' worth of stuff when they move. And also being older and sometimes less mobile, it's extra difficult for them to pack it, move it or somehow maneuver with it."

'The right choice for themselves'

Dulberg downsized three years ago. After several life changes, she decided to move from her home in Garden City South into an apartment in West Babylon.

But her original plan was to move to North Carolina with her brother — Dulberg's son lives there with his family, she said. She was widowed in 2009.

"My daughter got pregnant and my brother unfortunately passed away, and this was all at once," said Dulberg, who retired from her career working at NYU Langone Hospital Long Island. "I had a decision to make." Ultimately, she decided to move to be closer to her daughter.

Zigman often works with Long Islanders who face the same kind of fork in the road when deciding where to live post-retirement.

"I have clients who have adult children in different parts of the country, and for them it's a struggle to have to make a decision," she said. "Their children want them to move closer to them and their grandchildren. But they have to decide what's the right choice for themselves, and it varies."

She has worked with seniors who moved out of state for "affordability or value" factors, as well, or from Nassau to Suffolk in search of more land for their dollar, she said.

The biggest surprise is how much they end up getting for their house, versus what it was back in the day.

— Anna Beigelman, of Exit Realty Premier in Massapequa

Beigelman's clients have done the same: "A lot of people realize they get more for their money by going east," she said.

And for those who have been out of the game for decades, many are surprised by what the market is like right now.

"The biggest surprise is how much they end up getting for their house, versus what it was back in the day," Beigelman said. "Most of them did not expect to get that much money."

While moving from her last condo into where she is now, Chase paid $30,000 over the asking price. Her previous condo sold for $25,000 over asking, too, she said.

"It's kind of a sticker shock for seniors," Chase said.

'Keep active'

Sometimes, seniors choose to stay (or feel like they have to stay) on Long Island for the sense of familiarity, despite it all: "They're used to living on the Island: They like the Island, they have their doctors here, they have their routine here, so they want to be here," Beigelman said.

Dulberg and her husband bought their Garden City South home for $45,000 in 1976, she said. She listed it for $590,000 in 2022, and after a bidding war, it sold for $630,000 within about a week.

"My house sold so fast," she said. "I had to find a place quickly."

The buyers wanted to lock in their mortgage rate, Dulberg said, so she and her daughter got to work, driving around the Babylon area to look at apartments for sale.

"I was keeping track, for like six months, of all the apartments in this area, and it was very difficult," she said.

But the priority was to find a place that was close to her daughter, and quickly, Dulberg said. The moving process was a challenge too, but she hired a company and did plenty of packing herself. Dulberg also donated a lot of her "1970-type furniture," she said, in favor of buying some modern pieces.

Chase's advice to seniors is to clear as much out from their house as they can before getting serious about moving. "I tried to purge things that we didn't need anymore," she said.

"It was really hard to clean out a house that I was in for so many years," Dulberg said. "But little by little, I got it all done."

Her place is smaller than she was hoping for, Dulberg added, but she's not opposed to moving again — while staying on Long Island.

For seniors in a similar position, her advice is simple: "Just keep an open mind, and definitely keep active. There are a lot of people that just sit around and wait for something to happen."