The Bottom Five Things to Look For when the Elis play the Peytons

It’s a big week for the Giants. Plenty of intense storylines. Eli vs. Peyton. The Giants’ running game vs. the Colts’ exposed run defense. Indy trying to stay away from its first 0-2 start since 1998. Mathias Kiwanuka going home to Indianapolis. The health of Osi Umenyiora and Hakeem Nicks.

But of course the list of things to look for on Sunday night does come to an end eventually. There is a bottom. So here, we present our weekly list of the Bottom Five Things to Look For in Giants vs. Colts:

5. Archie and Olivia Manning spend most of the game trying to console Jim Sorgi, whose close relationship with the two quarterbacks has him emotionally torn over who to root for. “If one wins, the other loses,” Sorgi sobs. “It’s just not fair.”

4. Bob Sanders is on the sideline trying to convince other injured Colts players that his torn biceps actually occurred in a game. “Yeah, right,” one of them says with an eye roll. “You? Playing in a game? Seriously, how’d you do it?”

3. Watching the game on TV from his house, one of Kevin Boss’ guests tosses a beer can across the room and it hits Boss in the back of the head. No flag is thrown, but expect for there to be a fine announced next week.

2. Matt Dodge has the punting performance of his life, booming 80- to 85-yarders with 10-second hang times. It’s an incredible display of kicking power and accuracy. And then the game starts.

1. Believing that he has already secured the division title in Week 2, Jim Caldwell pulls Peyton Manning in the second half and replaces him with Curtis Painter. “It’s a tradition,” Caldwell says, “whenever we play a team from New York.”