What you need to know for Saturday's game

The Jets are in the National Football League playoffs, and for many of you who normally neither know nor care about such matters, it might be socially awkward not to watch with family and / or friends.

We are here to help you make sense of it all with key questions and answers. Consider it a prep course for your Super Bowl Sunday party.

Where do I watch?

On as big a screen as possible, preferably in high definition and preferably from a comfy chair, because there are few TV attractions longer than NFL contests — other than the Oscars or Yankees games.

The pregame show begins at 4 p.m. on Channel 4 and features Commack’s own Bob Costas and Keith Olbermann, who moonlights on weekends from his primary job as the Republicans’ least favorite TV commentator.

NBC has the game itself at 4:30, with Tom Hammond, Joe Theismann and Joe Gibbs in the booth. Then SNY takes over with its extensive postgame show. Count on analyst Ray Lucas to speak loudly.

The game also can be heard on ESPN radio (1050 AM), should you find yourself in a moving vehicle rather than on a comfy couch.

Wait . . . Joe Thiesmann?

Yup, the guy whose lower right leg you might have seen snap in two in the 1985 video that opened the popular movie “The Blind Side.”

Theismann, who later worked on ESPN’s Sunday and (briefly) Monday night coverage for nearly two decades, told Newsday he closed his eyes for the part where Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor ended his career.

How did he know it was safe to look? When he heard others in the theater audience groan in horror.

(In a 2006 visit to the “Monday Night Football” booth, comedian Jimmy Kimmel infamously asked, “How’s the leg, Joe?”)

Quién es Ochocinco?

Chad Ochocinco is the former Chad Johnson, who in 2008 changed his surname into the Spanish words for his uniform number: 8 and 5. (Yes, we know: 85 is ochenta y cinco.)

The Bengals receiver also is known for colorful comments and tweets, and for stunts that on occasion have drawn fines by the league.

The big story in this game will be his matchup against the Jets’ star cornerback Darrelle Revis, who held him without a catch in the teams’ game last weekend.

Ochocinco said before that regular-season finale that he would change his name back to Johnson if he were shut out by Revis. He was, but he hasn’t. Yet.

What's up with the Bengals' helmet?

Until 1980, the Bengals’ helmet logo was the team’s name in simple block lettering. When they switched to a tiger stripe pattern the following season, many sports fans mocked it.

The Bengals that season reached the Super Bowl against the 49ers — still the highest-rated one ever, by the way, attracting an average of 49.1 percent of households.

In the 30 years since, the design has become one of the more popular in the league.

Can't the Jets afford winter clothing?

Yes, but most of their players will go sleeveless, even with Cincinnati temps likely in the teens, and their coach, Rex Ryan, will not wear a coat, in solidarity with his troops.

There is no good reason for this other than macho posturing, but that’s football.

In the early years, the big games were played in November, which begat December, then January.

Now Super Bowl Sunday does not arrive until early February, and there is talk of moving it to President’s weekend . . . right around the time pitchers and catchers report to spring training.

What's the key to the game?

Mark Sanchez, No. 6 in white, is the Jets’ rookie quarterback.

He is young, personable and handsome, including an excellent head of hair that is mostly wasted under his helmet.

If he neither drops the football nor throws it to the other team the Jets will have a good chance, because other elements of the team are sound, with statistically the NFL’s best running game and stingiest defense.

If he does fumble or throw interceptions, the Jets will have a good chance of not disrupting your non-football plans for next weekend.

Sanchez grew up and played college ball in California and never had played in really cold weather until five days ago. That could be a factor given a frigid forecast.

The Bengals’ quarterback, Carson Palmer, attended the same high school as Sanchez and was one of his childhood heroes. But Palmer has played for seven years in Cincinnati, where the famously parsimonious Bengals have yet to spring for an indoor practice facility.

“We’re used to it,” Palmer told Newsday. “We practice outside every day — rain, sleet, snow, ice.”