Tiki depressed by failures off field

Tiki Barber says failures off the field after his retirement from football in 2006 led to a yearlong bout with depression.

Barber, 36, the Giants' career leading rusher, acknowledged in an HBO report to be aired Tuesday that he now needs football more than it needs him.

Barber has spent the past four months working out in an attempt to make a comeback, although his chances rest on the league and its players reaching a new collective-bargaining agreement.

Barber said football represents a necessary anchor in a life turned upside down by the depressive aftermath of a scandalous divorce and the disintegration of his television career.

"The game never needs you because there's always someone else to come and take your place," he said. "But right now, I need the game.

"I need to prove to myself that I can be successful at something. I know I'm going to be successful as a football player. I don't know why. The odds say 'No.' I'm 36 and I haven't played in four years. But I just know."

The report recounts the downward spiral Barber's life took shortly after his retirement. What started as a promising career as an NBC football analyst ended in his firing. His marriage to his college sweetheart collapsed. And his relationship with a 23-year-old NBC intern, which continues today, soiled a well-honed family- man image.

Barber said he was unable to deal with losing his $2 million-per-year job, which started as a football analyst for "Football Night in America" and progressed to a featured role on the "Today" show. But his demotion to on-field duties and eventually to unemployment led to depression.

"I crafted this career, right?" he said. "And I had gotten to the point where I was right where I wanted to be, and then I failed. It's hard to deal with."

Barber said after his job at NBC ended, he didn't do anything for a solid year.

"I remember there were days where I would literally wake up, have coffee, get something to eat and sit on the couch and do nothing for 10 hours," he said. "I started to shrivel. I didn't have that confidence. I didn't have the, that aura anymore."

Barber said his marriage started to crack six months after he ended his 10-year playing career.