How the Pellicane family from Long Beach helps Hayden Thorsen's memory live on through hockey

Four years ago, a 16-year-old high school hockey player from Darien, Connecticut, named Hayden Thorsen ended his own life. By all accounts, he seemed happy, and he was always the one in the room who checked in on all his teammates and friends, making sure they were OK.

“Hayden was the kid that, when he walks in the room, you know he's there, but in a positive way,’’ said Long Beach native Jake Pellicane, a former club hockey teammate and close friend of Hayden’s. “He just brought . . . such positive energy — always cracking jokes, making everybody in the room smile. And no matter what the mood in the room was — everybody could have been devastated after a loss — and Hayden comes in and just knows how to get everybody back together on the same page.’’

In the wake of Hayden’s death, his parents, Rob Thorsen and Sarah Thompson, organized a summer hockey game in his honor, with the goal of raising awareness of the importance of mental health. Local area NHL players, most notably then-Ranger Chris Kreider and several of his teammates, stepped up to play in the game and do what they could to spread the word.

The Pellicane family of Long Beach was there, too, with Jake’s mom Adele jumping in to help make the game happen. On July 30, the fourth annual Shoulder Check Showcase will take place at the hockey rink on the campus of Sacred Heart University, in Fairfield, Connecticut, to honor Hayden and encourage people to check in on their friends, as Hayden used to do, to make sure they are OK.

“Hayden was that kid who always made everybody feel that they were seen, and important,’’ Adele Pellicane said. “And his signature move was a hand on a shoulder. And in hockey there's a shoulder check, so it kind of happened that way.’’

Adele Pellicane, who works in advertising sales, coordinates the volunteers working the event, which has grown over the years, and expanded beyond the original game. She said the Boston Bruins, Washington Capitals and Philadelphia Flyers have had their own Shoulder Check games, and other groups besides hockey teams have adopted various Shoulder Check initiatives.

This year's game will be the first in the 3,600-seat Martire Family Arena, where Sacred Heart’s Division I men’s and women’s hockey teams play. The Hockey Hall of Fame will bring displays to the event for fans to check out, and the NHL Network is planning on televising the game. Last month, the first six players who have committed to play in the game were announced: Kreider, now of the Anaheim Ducks, Rangers defenseman Adam Fox and forward Matt Rempe, Flyers forward Trevor Zegras, Chicago goalie Spencer Knight and Devils defenseman Brett Pesce.

“It's a big event,’’ Jake Pellicane said. “It doesn't feel like a regular charity game. There's a certain energy in the room where you kind of feel like the message gets through to people. Everybody does the Shoulder Check pledge, so you repeat after me, and it's, 'I promise to reach out, check in, and make contact.' And the whole arena does it, and you just feel something different than a normal game.’’

“It's exciting,’’ Adele Pellicane said. “I mean, out of the tragedy, it became something that brings joy to people, and awareness.’’

Jake and Hayden first played against each other when they were 8 years old. Jake played on Long Island and Hayden in New York City. As they grew older and advanced to higher and higher levels of youth hockey, they began playing together on club teams. Jake, a defenseman, and Hayden, a goalie, grew close while playing for the New Jersey Colonials and the Mid-Fairfield (Connecticut) Rangers.

About a year after Hayden died, Jake, now 20 and a sophomore at the University of Rhode Island, got a tattoo on his leg that reads, “You are not alone Hayden Thorsen,’’ as a means of keeping Hayden’s memory with him. That was a few months after he had suffered another loss — a childhood friend, Gerrin Hagen, another Long Beach hockey player, died after being hit by a sport utility vehicle while skateboarding in Hicksville in January 2023.

Then, just before he started college a year ago, another friend from Long Beach, Austin Gibbons, who Jake said “was like an older brother,’’ died after suffering a medical episode in the water in Long Beach.

Now, the only hockey Jake plays is in a fraternity league. He said he did have interest in playing Division I college hockey at one time, but he changed his mind.

“I decided to take a step back and focus on myself,’’ he said. “I've had a lot go on the past few years.’’

The Shoulder Check Showcase, he said, serves to “remind everybody that, especially in sports, mental health is overlooked.’’

“A lot of people don't look at the stress players are under, and what they go through on a day-to-day basis,’’ he said. “And a lot of times with athletes, you expect them to be the tough guy, and this lets them know that you don't have to be.

“Like, it's OK not to be OK, [and] to reach out for help when you need it,’’ he said. “I think the passing of Hayden was a big step to understanding [that] the happiest person in the room, from what everybody thinks, could be dealing with stuff that nobody knows about.’’