Don Rickles, Joan Rivers: Two funny for Westbury

Sure, they're old (wake up, Don!), but they'll add a new wrinkle (sorry, Joan) to the Theatre at Westbury this weekend. The comedic legends - 'Mr. Warmth,' 84, and the equally acerbic Rivers, 76 - spoke separately with Newsday last week.

DON RICKLES 

You just turned 84. How was your birthday?

It's really amazing because this is one of my big, big years work-wise, which I didn't plan on. I planned to take it a little easy. The younger audiences are coming to see me, which makes me very happy.

Who's funnier - you or Joan Rivers?

That's apples and oranges. Joan is very funny at what she does, and I'm funny at what I do. We're not in competition with each other.

What was it like making "Toy Story 3"?

A lot of fun, especially for my grandchildren. They call me, "Pop Pop Mr. Potato Head." It's all they know. . . . I've done it [the part] now for almost 15 years.

Where you really involved in developing that character?

No, no no. John Lasseter, who's the creator of the whole thing, he came down to Malibu where I have a place and he said, "You're going to be Mr. Potato Head." I said: "John, I don't do cartoons. Leave me alone with that kids' stuff." He said: "Your voice is perfect. That's it. You're doing it." Sure enough, he set up a mic in my living room and started doing it and we went from there.

Besides yourself, who's the funniest comedian working today?

He's dear to me but Bob Newhart, my best friend. There are many others who are very funny and talented. But different people make you laugh for different reasons. Most of them are gone. I love Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock.

Why do you get away with what you get away with?

I could walk into a party and say to you, "Valerie, are you going to wear that dress?" Now some people would call that an insult, but the way I say it would make people laugh. You wouldn't be offended. I know you would laugh because you'd have to see my face and my expression.

What do you say about women who still find you sexy?

They have cataracts.

JOAN RIVERS 

This must be the superrich phase of your career. Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice" and "How'd You Get So Rich?" back to back. What's up with that?

I'm hoping the karma will help me win the lottery. One of the guys on "How'd You Get So Rich?" bought a house in East Hampton for $45 million. Cash!

And now Westbury with Don Rickles. Who's funnier, you or Don?

No question about it. I'm funnier. [She laughs.] Don is wonderful. But I'm prettier. Even at my age , I'm WAY prettier.

What's your most vivid memory of playing Westbury?

It was a big step when I graduated from the opening act dressing room to the star dressing room. I can't say anything bad about the place. Except once they tried to turn me away. The parking lot was full. I told them, "I'm the show."

What do you think of Long Island audiences?

I'm a New York girl. They get it on Long Island. We all hate the same people, love the same people. They're tough. You get a lot of ethnics at Westbury. Give me Jews and Italians and I'm a happy girl.

Besides yourself, who's the funniest comedian working today?

There's so many. Kathy Griffin, Sarah Silverman, Lynne Koplitz. She's just starting out. Very funny.

Do you ever worry about your daughter, Melissa, upstaging you in your shared gigs?

I love it when she does. I say, "Take it, Melissa." She's the only one in the world. Anyone else, I'd kill.

WHAT Comedians Don Rickles and Joan Rivers

WHEN|WHERE 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, the Theater at Westbury, 960 Brush Hollow Rd., Westbury

INFO $64.50-$79.50; livenation.com, 800-745-3000