'Heads of State' review: John Cena, Idris Elba in implausible thriller

WHAT IT'S ABOUT The president of the United States and the British prime minister team up to avoid a team of assailants while on the run through Eastern Europe in "Heads of State," a movie that plays as if its creators sought to take the basic "Air Force One" premise and make it about 75% stupider.

Alas, there are no great catchphrases here akin to Harrison Ford growling "Get off my plane" in that '90s action classic.

In "Heads of State," Air Force One gets taken down by terrorists somewhere over Belarus, in a plot orchestrated by Russian arms dealer Viktor Gradov (Paddy Considine).

President Will Derringer (John Cena), once an action movie star and now a new occupant of the office, has been riding with Prime Minister Sam Clarke (Idris Elba), in what's basically a PR stunt aimed at repairing the perception that the leaders cannot get along.

They parachute away from the plunging plane, into the forest and on a journey to a) get to an all-important NATO summit and b) to learn to like and trust each other, in what plays like one of the world's strangest team-building exercises.

Co-stars include Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Jack Quaid, Carla Gugino and the great, forever underappreciated Stephen Root ("Barry").

MY SAY "Heads of State" is destined for the streaming dustbin, to one day flicker across the screen as you scroll through Prime Video, desperate for something to watch. 

"Isn't that the one where John Cena played the president," you might briefly wonder, your curiosity momentarily piqued. "Idris Elba sure was great on 'The Wire' and in like 10 other things. How bad can this really be?"

The answer is very bad. So do your future self a favor: Keep scrolling.

Movies rarely get more disposable.

It all begins with a premise that strains and gasps but never gets to the point where it's even remotely believable. Dictating from his estate, the bad guy and his henchmen down Air Force One and take over one of those top-secret, magical movie MacGuffins that control the internet and security cameras and all the rest of society or whatever.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Belarus, or maybe Poland, the leaders banter and bicker like they stumbled their way into a buddy cop picture. They are smuggled across a border on the back of a truck, hiding among the goats. Are you laughing yet?

At least there's a nod toward some topical drama in the depiction of a fraying NATO alliance.

Just kidding.

There's no reason to care about any of this and no amount of "turning off your brain" could possibly make a difference. 

The movie snaps out of its doldrums once in awhile, largely thanks to Cena's charm and Elba's inherent charisma. These are very fine actors, hopefully earning a nice payday and having some fun. 

There's a decent action scene or two, as far as it goes for low-rent action scenes in streaming slop. That's a pretty low bar.

BOTTOM LINE Don't waste your time.