God Squad: What kids need to stay afloat
Why does the Talmud (the post- biblical work that codified rabbinic Judaism) say that a Jewish father must teach his son three things: to earn a living, to study Torah each day, and to swim? It's this last one that doesn't fit. The usual answer offered to me is "to save a life." I've pondered this for many of my 83 years. My own interpretation is that the "letting go" process that finally overcomes fear of water and allows the child to stay on the surface provides the first lesson in learning to trust in God. Do you have a different answer?
-- H., from somewhere not near the water, via email
The teaching you reference is from the Talmudic tractate Kiddushin 29a, and I do think that swimming fits into a list of basic things a parent must teach a child. A person needs to grow up to be able to make a living. A person needs to have time to study and reflect on what matters in life beyond work, and a person needs to be able to protect his or her own life.
Swimming is obviously a skill that can save a child's life, and self-preservation is the foundation for all other skills we learn. I like your interpretation, but I think the point of the teaching is to focus on the basic things children need to learn from us.
Let me turn this around and take it out of its Jewish context. Let me ask you and readers of any faith or no faith to ask themselves what they think are the three basic skills a parent, grandparent or caregiver should teach to a child. Let me know your lists. Here's mine:
Teach them to always say please and thank you. There are enough smart people in the world but not enough good people, and it seems to me that the essential ingredient of goodness is gratitude. It's all about knowing that everything in life is a gift.
Teach them to read for pleasure and wisdom. There's a reason we call it Holy Scripture and not Holy Video Games. Love of reading leads us to love what we read about. For me, that begins with the Bible, but even if they don't end up immersed in biblical study, they should still want to read about what really matters in life. That will take them to the Bible in due time.
Teach them to tithe. There's no one so poor that he or she can't help another person in need. Ten percent off the top is the biblical commandment that still challenges and transforms us.
My husband is Jewish, and I'm Catholic. We're raising our two children as Reform Jews. Recently, we attended a wake for a relative of mine where the prayers were led by a representative from the family's congregation. As the prayer began, my 12-year-old daughter, following everyone else, attempted to make the sign of the cross. My husband immediately stopped her, saying, "We don't make the sign of the cross; we are Jewish." I didn't see any harm in the gesture. I fact, I thought my husband overreacted. What's your opinion?
-- Anonymous, via email
Your husband was right. There's a big difference between respect and belief. The sign of the cross is a way of symbolically accepting the Trinity, and Jews do not believe that God is triune (Father, Son and Holy Spirit).
Making the sign of the cross, like kneeling or going up to the rail to receive Communion, are all signs that you're not just a respectful guest but a believing Christian. My advice to non-Catholics of any faith attending a Catholic service is to be quiet and respectful.
