Son won't sleep in his own room

Q. How worried should I be that my 10-year-old son sleeps on the floor of his older brother's room every night? My son starts out in his bedroom, which he shares with his younger brother. When my youngest son falls asleep, my 10-year-old goes into his older brother's room (even though he is asleep, too). He used to come into my room, but I told him no more. I tried behavior modification at Christmastime and told him he would lose gifts if he didn't stay in his own bed. He cried and said that he would get nothing. Any suggestions?

A. The fact that your son enjoys sleeping in the same room with his older brother wouldn't be troublesome if both boys wanted to room together and you wanted to make them roommates, says Jennifer Waldburger, co-creator of "The Sleepeasy Solution" DVD.

What is worrisome is the desperate need your son has to be in his brother's (or your) room at his age. Behavior modification alone isn't the solution. Sit down and talk with him and really dig more deeply into why he doesn't want to sleep in his own room. That's the best initial course of action, Waldburger says.

"You're busy during the day, you're distracted, you're doing things. It's when your head hits the pillow that you're alone with your thoughts. There's something else he's reaching out for other than just company."

If that doesn't help, consider enlisting a therapist to determine why he might be anxious or craving security, she says. "I would be inclined not to completely ignore it."