At Pinelawn Memorial Park, an event series aims to help connect families with loved ones
Getting up close and personal with baby praying mantises by day; yoga under the stars at night. These activities and more are held throughout the summer at Pinelawn Memorial Park and Arboretum in Farmingdale, 500-plus acres of land known for its cemetery.
Although it might sound like an unconventional place to hold activities, it’s become a safe haven for grieving families, says Kristyn Hovanec, Pinelawn’s director of community outreach. The events are held in areas where there are no memorials.
“This is for families to continue a connection with their loved ones,” Hovanec says. “We’re trying to educate and enrich families that have loved ones here.”
Jaren Wang, 8, from Queens, places a praying mantis egg sack on a shrub. Credit: Morgan Campbell
And some of the events, such as the praying mantis meet-and-greet, serve educational and environmental purposes, too.
‘Little hidden secret’
On the first day of May, families gathered to interact with praying mantises and learn about their purpose at Pinelawn. Children got the opportunity to see just-hatched praying mantises up close with magnifying glasses, and some held paint brushes for the insects to walk across.
Besides family fun, the event had another goal: to naturally combat the pests in the gardens. Participants placed egg casings on trees, each containing 100-200 praying mantises when they hatch.
Since praying mantises grow up to be large and can eat a lot, that makes them even more helpful in environments like these in terms of pest control, says Hofstra University professor Lisa Filippi. She has been teaching courses such as entomology and insect biology for 20 years.
“It’ll certainly contribute to helping and be a good educational tool for people to understand it’s far more helpful and beneficial to the environment to use natural biocontrol whenever possible,” she says.
And once the food is gone and the work is done, praying mantises will move on to the next location, leaving your environment under control, she adds.
One parent at the Pinelawn event, Scott Sieber, didn’t mind his children getting as close to the insects as possible — he saw it as a chance just to get everyone outside, following the COVID-19 pandemic and winter season.
Cian Scharf, of Miller Place, holds a baby praying mantis at the Pinelawn Memorial Park and Arboretum. Credit: Morgan Campbell
“Our kids like playing with bugs,” says Sieber, of Queens, “so this is a good chance for them to literally hold them and let them crawl around their arms.”
Karyn Tanacan, of Farmingdale, has attended Pinelawn’s events for four years with her family. Other activities featuring insects have included ladybugs and honeybees — Tanacan has been to them all. There’s also a butterfly release coming up on July 17.
“It’s kind of a little hidden secret,” Tanacan says. “You’d never think that you could come to a cemetery and have a community event, but they're educational and fun. We’ve learned a lot.”
Plenty of smiling faces and curious minds ventured to Pinelawn throughout the day. There were four different sessions to accommodate all the guests.
“The kids get to all come together and have these hands-on approaches to learning about nature, and what Pinelawn does to help keep the environment healthy,” says Hovanec, who led the praying mantis event. “And it teaches them how to do this in their own homes.”
Finding community
Pinelawn’s event series started in 2017 with an arboretum tour. At first, Pinelawn held one event a year and got a turnout of around 20 people each time, Hovanec says.
Now, she helps organize 38 events throughout the year, ranging from candlelight vigils to lantern-lighting celebrations.
Although these activities are open to the public, they’re particularly meaningful for those who have lost a loved one and can pay their respects in the same vicinity. Hovanec hopes those who come to the events can continue a relationship with their loved one who died.
“Pinelawn Memorial Park likes to change the way people grieve, and be an innovator in the way that we support the families in the community,” she says.
COPE, a local nonprofit grief and healing organization, has partnered with Pinelawn on monthly online grief workshops. Together, they’re responding to the “heightened demand for grief support, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic,” says Adam Rabinovitch, COPE’s executive director.
The isolation and social distance brought upon by the pandemic has made Pinelawn’s events even more special, Rabinovitch says. By being in a group setting, there’s a message: you’re not alone.
“They’re in a club no one wants to belong to, but they’re here to support each other,” Rabinovitch says.
He encourages those grieving to take the first step and come to an event online or in person as an act of self care.
“Whether it's in the chat box or in person, sharing their own stories and challenges or interacting with the programs and presenters, we’re seeing people come back again and again,” says Rabinovitch.
What’s next
Upcoming events at Pinelawn include morning yoga flow sessions, an arboretum tour and the summer butterfly release day, which will have three sessions. Registration is available online and the events are free.
Many Long Islanders come to the events over and over, Hovanec says. That includes 11-year-old Canden Tanacan, who’s been spreading the word about what Pinelawn has to offer.
“I think these events are really fun,” he says. “I’ve brought a lot of my friends here, and I think they really like it.”
Additional reporting by Morgan Campbell
Rachel Weiss joined Newsday in 2016. As a real estate/living multimedia reporter, Rachel writes feature stories and contributes to and appears in on-camera video packages. She was the lead reporter on Newsday’s LI Acts of Kindness series.
