Family recalls fallen cop's sense of humor

The face of Michael Califano's wristwatch tells it all.

It shows a fearsome motorcycle, just like the Harley hog that was a prized possession of the tough, veteran Nassau County highway officer. But the chopper rider on the timepiece is SpongeBob SquarePants.

The cartoon character showed Califano's playful side, which he shared with his three young sons. "It wouldn't be uncommon to find Mike with a pile of kids on him. He loved kids," his brother-in-law John Yanch said Wednesday.

For Califano, 44, of Wantagh, who was killed on the job last weekend and will be buried Thursday, duty and family mattered more than anything.

"My dad was the best dad ever," said middle son Chris, 11, who wore Califano's watch Wednesday and proudly claimed he was the most like his father among his brothers Michael, 13, and Andrew, 6.

Califano, a highway patrol officer, was struck by a flatbed truck and died on the Long Island Expressway in Old Westbury early Saturday. Police said John Kaley, 25, a New Britain, Conn., trucker, fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the patrol car while Califano was conducting a traffic stop.

Kaley was arrested on charges including criminally negligent homicide.

Califano's funeral Mass was scheduled at noon Thursday at Maria Regina Roman Catholic Church in Seaford, with burial to follow at the Cemetery of the Holy Rood in Westbury.

Wednesday, American flags planted by a grieving neighbor dotted the streets by the family home near Wantagh Avenue.

Flanked by her sons and relatives, Jackie Califano spoke of her husband's dedication to their family. "He was always saving up for something big for the kids," she said.

The two met as teenagers working at the local Waldbaum's, and married in 1994 at Maria Regina Roman Catholic Church in Seaford.

Califano grew up in North Massapequa, graduated from St. John the Baptist High School in West Islip, and received his associate degree in criminal justice from Nassau Community College.

He joined the Nassau County correction department in 1988, working at the county jail in East Meadow, then joined the police department in 1998 and was posted to the First Precinct. He moved to the Highway Patrol squad in 2008.

He always planned to be a police officer, said Jackie Califano, 41, who works as an X-ray technician at a Rockville Centre medical office.

In a family filled with law enforcement officers, Jackie Califano said she learned early on to live with worry. But her own father had worked as a police officer in the First Precinct and never got hurt in his career, and her fears grew manageable. "It becomes second nature," she said.

On Friday night, Jackie Califano said, she'd fallen asleep on the living room couch and awoke to see several police cars parked outside and four officers on her doorstep - and she knew the worst had happened. "I'm thinking, 'Please God, don't let this be,' " she said, weeping.

While Califano was a man of few words, he was known for his great sense of humor. Last Halloween, he arrived at a family party wearing a fake tattoo shirt and fooled some of his relatives into thinking he'd gotten inked from head to toe.

Nassau police Officer Dan Clarke was Califano's partner from 2003 to 2008, and recalled swapping stories to pass the time in the squad car.

"If he found something funny, he would laugh until he started shaking," Clarke said.

Even in their darkest days, Califano was a steadfast support for his family. In 2003, when the Califanos' infant daughter, Michaela, was dying of a congenital disease, Califano would pull all-nighters by her side at St. Mary's Healthcare System for Children in Bayside, and then report for work the next morning without complaint.

"When he did talk about it, it wasn't 'Woe is me, why me?' " Clarke said. "He did whatever he had to do."Contributions for the family can be made to the Michael J. Califano Memorial Fund, c/o Nassau County PBA, 89 E. Jericho Tpke., Mineola, NY 11501.

In addition to his wife and sons, Califano is survived by his parents, Catherine and Michael Califano of North Massapequa; brothers Edward, 43, of North Massapequa, and Charles, 42, of Bayport; and sisters Karen Malvone, 40, of West Babylon, and Donna Mei, 35, of Farmingdale.