Moms of military veterans in Nassau gain Blue Star Mothers chapter

In a veterans hall in Hicksville, Joanne Greenlee took a star-spangled pillow handed to her by another military mother in the room, clutched it to her chest, then hugged the woman who gave it to her.

Until not long ago, Greenlee had felt unsettled and emotionally isolated since learning her Navy son, Sean, would soon be far out at sea, for duty aboard an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. Back then, none of her friends had children in the military, nor shared the mixture of pride and nervousness that etched her days.

But when Greenlee learned that a military family support group known as Blue Star Mothers was recruiting new members for a chapter it opened in Nassau County, she quickly joined.

"Having the support of military moms who can identify with what you're going through is beautiful," said Greenlee, of Bethpage, moments after receiving the pillow at Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 3211, where the group holds monthly meetings. "It's not like having your kid go off to college. I've not heard from my son in a month."

Others are joining, too. Since the chapter opened in December 2014, it has seen its membership increase nearly sixfold, to 69.

The woman who handed Greenlee the pillow to serve as a symbolic comforter until the Bethpage woman's son returned home safe was Suzi Targansky of Massapequa. She joined the military moms support group in July, after a member she met during a chance encounter in a department store urged her to sign up.

Targansky's son Nick, a Marine corporal, returned from a deployment in Japan just one day earlier.

"I had no idea what I would go through," Targansky said.

She said her adjustment to the reality that she and her husband have a child who could be sent into combat has been emotionally wrenching. She said they initially opposed his decision to enlist, and now worry he could be placed in harm's way.

"It was really hard," said Targansky, who works as a medical technician. "Me and my husband, we cried when he went into the service. And with all that is going on, we're scared to death. He's with an infantry unit. He could go anytime, anywhere."

Leaders of the organization, which until last November had a single Long Island affiliate that met in Sayville, said opening a Nassau branch will help extend the national organization's support network to families in western Long Island.

Soldier advocates say creating support networks is especially important for military families on Long Island, which lacks the supportive, military-savvy communities that typically surround larger military posts.

For example, Fort Hood, a massive Army base in Texas, houses more than 40,000 troops, with family quarters, day care centers, counseling programs, supermarkets and even a community college.

In contrast, the largest military facilities on Long Island feature a few hundred National Guard and reserve troops, who spend most of their lives among neighbors and co-workers in suburban communities whose inhabitants typically have little feel for the anxieties military families endure.

Many of the mothers at Thursday's meeting said they have been particularly on edge, as terrorist incidents in France, Lebanon and Mali have brought talk of sending ground troops to confront the Islamic State, also known as ISIS, and other terror groups.

Local members of Blue Star Mothers try to build a sense of community here. In the short time she has been a member, Greenlee has joined fellow Blue Star moms marching in Manhattan's Veterans Day parade. She packed Christmas boxes for U.S. troops in Afghanistan and joined others at MacArthur Airport, cheering for a group of veterans traveling to the National World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C. On Nov. 16, she was in the kitchen at the VFW hall in Hicksville, preparing a chicken dinner for veterans participating in a peer-to-peer counseling meeting there.

Greenlee said joining Blue Star Mothers has helped her channel her anxieties over her son's deployment into productive uses.

"I've been on fire," Greenlee said. "I'm all in."