Single moms say it hasn't been easy

The stigma of being a single mother has eased considerably in recent years, but these Long Island women still faced serious challenges.

GLORIA GANTT 51, Uniondale

Gloria Gantt is proud of her son, Christopher Greggs, a 20-year-old sophomore at City College of New York. "He does very well academically," she said. "I thank God for that."

The registered nurse is doing well herself. On track to graduate from Pace University next month with a master's in publishing, she hopes to launch a holistic health magazine.

That challenge may not come close to the early years of raising Christopher. She divorced when her son was 2 1/2, and even though her ex-husband was "very, very involved," the weight of child-rearing fell on her.

"It was a very difficult transition," Gantt said. "I had full custody. I was the caregiver."

The time pressures, she recalled, were tremendous.

"You're trying to go to work, take your child to school, come back home, cook dinner, have quality time. Your time is very pressed."

Gantt decided to go to graduate school in 2003, taking a few courses here and there as money allowed. In one sense, she became more in sync with her teenage son.

"While he would do his homework, I would do my homework," she said.

BRIGIDA SALERNO, 41, Bay Shore

Brigida Salerno considered taking the traditional route, marrying the father of her now 6-year-old daughter.

"You want to be a family," she said. "You want to get married and work and take care of the family."

In the end, Salerno rejected wedding a man she felt wasn't a good provider. He's since left the country, leaving her to raise Vanessa alone, with limited support.

"I don't have so much family, and the family that I do have lives far away," she said.

Salerno, who last worked as a waitress, said she's been unemployed for six months. Her unemployment compensation has run out, leaving her with Medicaid and food stamps.

"Right now, I'm going through all these different changes: looking for employment; looking for a more stable place to live; trying to keep my daughter in school without any disruptions."

Finding a job in a battered economy is itself a formidable challenge. Waitressing, she said, is "like a revolving door. You're easily replaced ... That's just the way it is."

Salerno, meanwhile, is focused on doing the best she can for her child.

"My greatest joy is when she looks at me and says she loves me and I'm the best mom in the world, even if I don't feel it."

RUTH BERDECIA, 31, BRENTWOOD

After getting out of the Army in 2005, Ruth Berdecia learned motherhood couldn't wait for long.

She'd suffered a serious back injury in Iraq after being thrown from her .50-caliber machine-gun perch when the truck in which she was riding crashed.

Doctors would later tell her that if she wanted to have kids, "it would be better sooner rather than later," Berdecia said. Before long, she wouldn't be able to hold the weight of a developing fetus, they warned.

Berdecia chose artificial insemination rather than "rushing into something with someone."

When her son Ramel, now 4, is old enough, she plans to tell him this: "I wanted you this bad this is what I did."

Still in no rush to wed, Berdecia works full-time as a support staffer at the Child Care Council in Suffolk and attends community college night classes. She hopes to become a social worker.

On the child-raising front, she has plenty of family support. Her mother looks after Ramel when Berdecia is at work or school.

"I really don't feel he's missing anything," she said of her son, who has a grandfather and five uncles to serve as male role models.

Is she in a good place? "I know I am," she said. "I prioritize well."