Fundraiser helps combat suicide, bullying

Life seemed to be smiling on Alexis Pilkington.

She'd graduated early from West Islip High School, had earned a partial soccer scholarship to Dowling College, had recently gotten her own wheels -- a Ford Explorer -- and was five days away from taking the test for her driver's license.

When the 17-year-old took her own life in her West Islip home in March 2010, family and friends were shocked.

"She had everything going for her," said her father, Tom Pilkington, a member of the NYPD. "We just live with the why every day."

Pilkington was remembered Sunday at Lexi's Beach Bash at Babylon's Cedar Beach. In its second year, the event raises money for the Alexis Pilkington Memorial Foundation, which seeks to raise awareness about suicide and cyberbullying.

Pilkington's parents don't believe cyberbullying pushed her to suicide, although harsh comments about her were posted to the Web after her death, including on her memorial page.

"It cuts like a knife," Tom Pilkington, 49, said of cyberbullying.

Several local musicians were on hand, including the Suffolk County Police Department Emerald Society Pipe Band and Jenna Rose Swerdlow, 12, a student at West Hollow Middle School in Melville who has gotten some cruel online reaction to homemade music videos she's posted to YouTube.

Pilkington was a talented midfield player, and members of Dowling's Golden Lions women's soccer team, which she was to join, showed up Sunday. Coach Kerri McCabe said a game is dedicated to Pilkington each season and she wanted her players to attend the beach bash.

The Long Island Crisis Center had a booth, and executive director Linda Leonard stressed the importance of talking about suicidal thoughts. Too often people fear talking will fuel the impulse to suicide, Leonard said, but that's a myth.

"Talking about it lowers that sense of hopelessness and isolation," she said.

Pilkington's mother, Paula Pilkington, 47, said money raised at the bash goes to groups like the crisis center, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and to scholarship funds. Donation information can be found at giveeverythingbutup.org or alexispilkingtonmemorialfoundation.org.