A double lesson in texting and rudeness

DEAR AMY: I am a teenage girl. I carry my phone everywhere. I have in-depth conversations via text, with one friend who does not go to my school. The problem is, I occasionally leave my phone out or have it in my hands when a friend will grab it and start going through my messages! I write personal texts about my life, etc. with my long-distance friend, and I find it so extremely rude and embarrassing when others read my texts! I tell them to stop, but all that seems to do is entice their curiosity. The only way I can get them to stop is to delete my messages as soon as I get them! Leaving my phone at home is not an option; do you have any other suggestions?Texting Teen

DEAR TEEN: You should leave your phone in your purse or pocket when you are interacting personally with people.

If you don't take out your phone to send or read a text, your alleged friends will not have the visual cue to take your phone from you, and you may then notice how divided your attention has been.

I agree with you that they are being very rude -- but your texting in their presence is rude, too.

DEAR AMY: "Feeling Left Out" wrote about her husband's social anxiety. I could relate.

My former husband also was socially inept, anxious and uncomfortable when we socialized -- to the point that it just became easier to decline invitations and stop inviting people to our home. I sought advice from my doctor on his behalf when he refused to see his own. He found other reasons to avoid social situations. Long story short -- he was a closet alcoholic who was desperate to hide it. It's not the letter writer who has the social anxiety problem; it's the partner. If he is not willing to seek help, then so be it. My advice would be to end the relationship, find someone you are truly compatible with and enjoy life to the fullest.

Been There