A hurtful e-mail sister wasn't supposed to see

DEAR AMY: My two sisters and I recently spent a highly anticipated three-day weekend together in Chicago. I consider us very close and think of them as my best friends. We didn't have a set itinerary, and we made it clear to one another no one was under pressure to do what the others did. The goal was to relax and enjoy one another's company. I was not feeling well the weekend of our trip, but we walked for miles, shopped and ate at several very good restaurants. I wasn't my usual self, but I also wasn't a stick-in-the-mud! Neither of them complained about my behavior. They both told me in an e-mail that they felt sorry that I was so unwell. I was shocked and hurt to receive an e-mail dialogue between the two of them, which was sent by accident when one sister hit "reply to all." In this dialogue they called me "difficult" and a "pain." I'm not sure what hurts worse, being talked about or being told I was fine to my face while they complained behind my back. Should I say anything or just swallow the hurt and move on? It has changed my sisterly feelings toward them.

Sad SisterDEAR SAD: If I told you to swallow the hurt and move on, could you? Didn't think so. Most sisters I know can recall with exactitude the slings and slights from ancient childhood conflicts - not to mention the stuff that happened last week.

So instead of moving on, try to move through this.

Understand that sisters complain about one another. That goes with the territory.

Consider the "reply to all" a gift. Your sisters might have made some valid points. If so, you have an opportunity to make some changes.

Now it's your turn to hit "reply to all." Send the dialogue back to your sisters along with a note of your own, saying, basically, "What gives?" Get this out in the open, let your sisters explain and apologize, and then swallow the hurt and move on.