A lonely fight against video game violence

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have two sons, ages 9 and 12. They have been asking to purchase video games that are rated T (teen, age 13) and M (mature, age 17). The games that they want are combat-type/shooting/killing/violent ones. We feel that a game that involves shooting and killing another human being is not fun or entertaining. We explained to our sons that there are men and women in the military fighting for our country who are actually living these experiences and it is not a "game." Our boys tell us that neighborhood kids as young as 5 are playing them. We realize that our own boys are playing them when they visit their friends. However, we have resisted letting them have them in our house. We feel the constant exposure to these types of video games is desensitizing kids to violence. Are we the only parents left in America that do not allow these games in our home, as our sons would have us believe? Should we continue to hold our ground or should we give in, knowing they are playing them elsewhere anyway?Peace-loving Parents

DEAR PARENTS: The issue in your household is common to most thoughtful households, despite what your boys tell you. The question, too, is one of control.

As they mature, your sons must feel that they are in control of some aspects of their lives, and you should mentor them to make good choices -- and acknowledge it when they do.

When they agitate for a violent video game, help them explore alternatives. (One thing I love about "Guitar Hero" is that this game is action-packed, interactive, clever, fun and cool.)

I applaud your decision to keep violent video games out of your house. If this makes you "mean," then -- oh, well -- you can handle it, right? You can tell your kids, "The only guns allowed in this household are the 'guns' we are sticking to."