A-Rod's heroics make his mistakes go away

Wait, wait. We've seen this latest Alex Rodriguez saga before.

It's Captain Renault from "Casablanca," proclaiming, "I'm shocked, shocked to find out that gambling is going on in here!" right before he receives his winnings.

It's Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men," telling Tom Cruise, "You want me on that wall! You need me on that wall!"

For now, it's you the Yankees fan, knowing darn well that if A-Rod's visit with Dr. Anthony Galea last year helped him hit those October home runs off Joe Nathan and Brian Fuentes, then the end justifies the means.

And it's the Yankees and Major League Baseball, acting all outraged now but certainly not willing to pay the price for an All-Star with better discretion.

Galea caused a stir when he told The Associated Press on Monday that he did indeed meet with A-Rod last year, giving him anti-inflammatory medication to help him treat his ailing hip.

The FBI still intends to meet with A-Rod, and once that question-and-answer session takes place - a session as likely to bear fruit, by the way, as asking Derek Jeter about his marriage plans - then we'll begin the real charade.

The Yankees will get together with A-Rod, scold him for his dishonesty and publicly share their disappointment.

Major League Baseball will send its fake cops to get together with A-Rod and press him, again, on his past usage of illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

Tuesday, at a Yankee Stadium news conference to announce the new college football Pinstripe Bowl, Yankees managing general partner Hal Steinbrenner smiled when asked about A-Rod's latest imbroglio.

"There's really nothing more to say than what we said last week. We didn't know Alex was seeing this doctor," Steinbrenner said. "I'm told that he's going to cooperate with the authorities in full, answer some questions for them. Until that's done, there's not much to add."

Look, we all understand that the Yankees are miffed that A-Rod saw Galea without the team's consent, and that he lied to the Yankees when they inquired about such a meeting back in December. And that commissioner Bud Selig is upset for the same reason.

But here's what I'd like to do: First, give Steinbrenner some truth serum and ask him this: "If you wish, you can change history so that A-Rod never sees Galea. The tradeoff is that the Yankees lose to the Twins in the 2009 American League Division Series, and everyone discusses what an expensive flop you guys were."

Then, the leftover truth serum to Selig, with a similar offer: "We'll have A-Rod never see Galea, and the tradeoff is that you'll get a Phillies-Twins World Series with record-low television ratings and much chatter about the decline of your sport."

Which way do you think they'd go?

This is who A-Rod is, a great talent who makes questionable decisions. The benefits justify the costs. It's no different than pointing out that Brian Cashman signed Kei Igawa on the way to building a World Series champion, or that Selig makes up for his questionable ethics with an excellent business sense.

They all have to play along with this A-Rod farce. But we don't. We can laugh as A-Rod gets summoned to the principals' offices, and apologizes. And then goes out and puts up another typical, superhuman season, earning everyone's forgiveness all over again.