A sticky question of fundraising

DEAR AMY: My partner and I are friends with a neighborhood couple who have a wonderful and loving family. We see them socially on occasion and sincerely enjoy their company. This year, the boys and their father walked the neighborhood and asked us to support their youth organization's annual fundraising efforts by purchasing a snack gift pack. Who could resist the request of the boys in their crisp uniforms, respectfully and courteously asking for support? Being good neighbors and friends, we purchased an item. Immediately after the purchase, buyer's remorse set in. Their national organization does not allow gay leaders. I feel the parents are close enough that we can broach the subject, and yet I also feel they should have been more sensitive before approaching us. We don't want to lose them as friends. Your suggestion on a best approach would be most welcome.Neighborly

DEAR NEIGHBORLY: Just as your neighbors weren't making a particular statement in asking you to buy a snack pack, you also can refuse to purchase a snack pack without making a declaration - unless you want to.

If you're asked or wish to supply an explanation, you should say that because the organization has an exclusionary leadership policy, you can't in good conscience support its fundraising efforts.

It is not these parents' job to determine or decode your sensitivities and avoid you - or to urge the boys to exclude you (then they'd be doing the same thing their organization's leadership does).

They are treating you to the same opportunity all of the neighbors are being given, and, like the other neighbors, you can take or leave the treats, with or without an explanation.