A thorny problem with gift bouquets

DEAR AMY: My son gave me a Christmas gift of four bouquets to be delivered to me every three months throughout the year. None of the bouquets has been especially pretty, but the bouquet delivered today is hideous. It's too ugly to even put into a vase. How can I tactfully tell my son that while I appreciate his thoughtfulness, the flowers have not been very nice? I hope he doesn't spend his money for that again.

--Loving Mom

DEAR MOM: You could contact the company that originates the flowers and plead with them to put together something more tasteful.

In my family, we could handle this as a gag - but it's tricky. It would involve photographing the floral display at its most awful and writing a note reading, "Every three months, I receive flowers and think of how much you love me." If you could pull this off, your son might notice that these floral arrangements don't match the catalog photo.

You could be straightforward and say to him, "I worry that the flowers being delivered to me might not be what you expected. I'm sure you spent a lot of money to do this, but some of the bouquets haven't been so wonderful, and I feel bad because I don't think that's what you had in mind."

DEAR AMY: "Curious" wondered about college students referring to themselves as "kids," and you suggested asking them, "Do you really see yourselves as children?" Of course I do - or at least, I don't see myself as an adult. I am a senior in college. I take responsibility for myself, but as someone without my own health insurance or home, I am not comfortable calling myself an "adult." As you mentioned, I'm a "kid" because it's the least pretentious/most honest thing I can call myself.

--Still a Kid

DEAR KID: Many college students have responded the same way.