Alzheimer caregiving suggestions

DEAR AMY: My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago and has steadily slowed down. She comes to visit my family three times a year. We used to have so much fun -- going for walks, playing games, or going to movies and shows. But now she no longer can remember the rules to the game or the plot of the story and is nervous when walking longer distances (understandable for an 87-year-old).

She often slips into a kind of stupor and loses track of whatever we are doing, whether it be dinner or meeting old friends. I'm wondering if you could suggest some things we could do with her? She is such a different person than she used to be, and we are at a loss as to how to make her stay with us enjoyable!Perplexed

DEAR PERPLEXED: You don't say when the last time you saw your grandmother was or how long you plan to have her with you, but you should get complete and thorough information on her current status from her caregiver.

Many people with Alzheimer's have periods during the day when they are more alert. Get as much information as you can about her particular habits and familiar foods. Eliminate any safety hazards in your home, and understand that she may get out of bed and get confused at night.

Instead of prompting her to try to remember people or stories she may not remember, try to stay in her moment. You can leaf through a photo album, art book or a travel magazine and ask her to tell you a story about what she sees on the page. Ask open-ended questions: "What does that make you think of?" Listen to her, even if she doesn't track well -- and don't push her.

Listening to music with her could be enjoyable for all of you. She may want to sing or recite portions of lyrics, nursery rhymes or stories from long ago.

The Alzheimer's Association has helpful caregiving ideas on its website: alz.org.