Ask Amy: Boss wants out of book club

DEAR AMY:The composition of my book club has changed. My close friends have moved away and new members have joined. I work with all the people in the group and am their boss. They are nice people, but not people I want to socializewith. How can I resign without making it difficult at work?

--Book Club Blues

DEAR BLUES: You can try to resign using the same no-nonsense attitude that you've probably employed in your work life. Assume the supervisory demeanor and use tactics that have made you an effective boss.

When that doesn't work, lie to them and run off before they have a chance to pour you another glass of chardonnay.

Tell the others that you're overextended with work and other duties, so you're regretfully going to have to bow out. This situation will only become difficult at work if you let it.

DEAR AMY:I am 22 and in my last year of college. I have never done the whole spring break thing because it is so expensive, but this year I really want to go to Mexico. My best girlfriend from high school and I have talked about going with some other female friends. The problem? My boyfriend doesn't have plans of his own. I would love to have him come with us, but I know he would feel uncomfortable being the only guy. Is it wrong for me to go off and leave my boyfriend behind?

--Girl For Fun

DEAR GIRL: You don't need to decide on your boyfriend's behalf whether he would have fun on your spring break vacation. That's his job.

It sounds as if you don't want to include him in this group holiday, so you're going to have to tell him that and face the personal consequences.

In my view, he should be a gracious boyfriend and send you happily on your way, but that's the vexing thing about people - they have a tendency not to behave the way I want them to.