Ask Amy: Confessing before 600 people isn't a secret
DEAR AMY: Our former church often showcases testimonials on Sundays. Recently one longtime member shared in front of 600-plus people about a transformation that stemmed from a personal transgression. Later, at home, my husband and I used this testimony as a "learning moment" for our teens. It produced a healthy "what would you have done?" discussion. One of our kids subsequently mentioned the testimony to this member's daughter. The member called me, furious, that our family had discussed the testimony. She had not told her own children yet of her experience and was angry that her children learned of it from ours. She accused me of violating confidentiality. My defense was that she voluntarily shared in front of more than 600 people. Were we wrong? -- Evolving Evangelicals
DEAR EVANGELICALS: My understanding of giving testimony is that people who do so are making a public declaration. I can imagine that someone who is suddenly moved by the spirit might share a story without thinking about it beforehand, but it is that person's obligation to clean up after herself when the moment has passed.
Your fellow church member should have assumed that her testimony would move people enough to discuss it outside the church's immediate environment. I'm going to assume that you shared this story with your kids as an example of someone's faith at work in the world, rather than as gossip.
She should forgive you. Your clergy might counsel both of you that a Christian is not someone who is perfect, but who is forgiven - and forgiving.
DEAR AMY: I have another entrant in your "worst gift" contest. My now-husband gave me hunting boots for Valentine's Day when we were engaged. I think he was trying to do something a little "outside the box," so I give him points for being different. -- Love Him Anyway
DEAR ANYWAY: I thought everyone knew that for women, hunting gear is more of a birthday sort of gift.
Gentlemen: Pay attention. Don't think outside the box for Valentine's Day. Think very much "inside the box." For more worst gifts, check twitter.com/santahatesme.
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