DEAR AMY: I am a new employee at an office that is 99 percent male. At our Christmas office party, a co-worker was hitting on me inappropriately, including making comments about my breasts. Because I am new, I tried to politely distance myself from him and talk with others. The next day at work, my boss said that he was notified of the "friendliness" between that co-worker and me at the party. He told me I shouldn't waste my time with him and that he is beneath me. I explained that I was not interested in this person and that there was nothing to be concerned about. This guy keeps inviting me to hang out with him, and I wonder what he's telling other employees about us. I don't want to be wrongly labeled the office slut. How should I tactfully rectify this?

--Damage Control

 

DEAR DAMAGE: You need to get tough about this and be clear from now on that you won't tolerate sexual come-ons or harassment.

As a new employee, it is understandable that you would want to be careful, but jerks like your co-worker aren't concerned with tact. He sounds like a predator.

The next time your co-worker asks, say, "I'm not interested in hanging out with you; you can stop asking me, OK?" Because your boss picked up on this and chose to ask you about it (also making inappropriate comments), you should seek a private meeting with him and tell him what actually happened at the Christmas party.

Follow up by saying, "I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but I wanted you to know about this and if it happens again, I'll tell you so you can do something about it." Document every instance of harassment with an account of what happened and your reaction. If your office has an HR representative, prepare yourself to bring this behavior to his or her attention.

Your office sounds like the very definition of a hostile work environment.

Rock climbing? Indoor beach volleyball? Water parks? Arts and crafts? NewsdayTV's Elisa DiStefano and Newsday deputy lifestyle editor Meghan Giannotta have your look at ways to spend your winter break. Credit: Newsday/Howard Schnapp, Kendall Rodriguez; Gary Licker

Things to do now on LI Rock climbing? Indoor beach volleyball? Water parks? Arts and crafts? NewsdayTV's Elisa DiStefano and Newsday deputy lifestyle editor Meghan Giannotta have your look at ways to spend your winter break.

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