DEAR AMY: I'd like your take on a situation at work. It is customary in our firm for bosses to give their assistants holiday presents at the end of the year. These gifts can range from hundreds of dollars in cash to significant gift cards, jewelry, etc. One of my bosses approached me a few days before the holiday (after I had given him his gift) and asked me if I'd mind waiting until the following week for my present because he'd been "overwhelmed" lately. Of course I told him not to worry and thought nothing of it. A week after New Year's, he once again mentioned my "gift" and said he hadn't forgotten me but it was "not ready yet." You see where I'm going with this. This man can be absent-minded, and I'm wondering if he's simply forgotten me or if he never intended to give me a gift in the first place (although he has been generous in the past). I'm wondering what I should say if the subject comes up again? What if it doesn't? So far I've laughed it off, but I could really use the gift because we had no raises or bonuses this year. Your witty advice would be appreciated.

--Kathy

DEAR KATHY: Your letter illustrates one reason that I think giving substantial monetary gifts at the office is a terrible idea. You and your co-workers should be adequately compensated so you're not counting on your bosses' personal largess at the end of the year.

Because this is a personal gift and not a company-sanctioned bonus, you have no recourse when the gift doesn't happen. Nor should you bring it up to him.

If spring rolls around and your boss mentions his Christmas gift again (but doesn't produce it), you can say, "Well, one great way to celebrate Flag Day (June 14) would be for you to recommend me for a raise. That's the gift that keeps on giving, if you know what I mean."

NewsdayTV's Doug Geed visits two wineries and a fish market, and then it's time for holiday cheer, with a visit to a bakery and poinsettia greenhouses. Credit: Randee Dadonna

Out East with Doug Geed: Wine harvests, a fish market, baked treats and poinsettias NewsdayTV's Doug Geed visits two wineries and a fish market, and then it's time for holiday cheer, with a visit to a bakery and poinsettia greenhouses.

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