Ask Amy: He's the father of an ungrateful bride

DEAR AMY: I have a 30-year-old daughter who just finished a short-lived marriage to a useless alcoholic. Within a few days of the ink getting dried on the papers, she announced she is engaged to a really nice guy (he is). She wants me to provide the food and drink for this wedding. (I also paid for her first wedding.) It will be a small affair, around 100 people. She asked how much I was putting into the budget, and I told her $5,000. She was upset because she found a venue she liked and it rents for $1,200, leaving her less money for the food and beverages. I told her there was a great venue a few blocks away that charged much less, thereby providing more resources for entertainment. She is worried some out-of-town guests might have to walk eight blocks after the wedding. She wants me to raise the budget and insinuates that I'm being cheap. These are tough times - shouldn't wedding guests be prepared to burn off a little of that chow?

--Lost and Confused Dad

DEAR LOST: You sound determined to contribute to your daughter's wedding - even though she sounds ungrateful and unappreciative.

Because you've offered $5,000 as a gift and she sees it as the start of a financial negotiation, it would be best if you wrote her a check and let her decide how to spend it.

You should convey to her that this is her opportunity to budget for and create - without interference or further assistance - the wedding she wants. Tell her you look forward to the event - but that you won't be contributing any more money toward it.

If your daughter thinks eight blocks is too far to walk (it might be for some guests), she can either help arrange transportation for them or spend more on the closer venue. But this is a decision she - not you - will have to make.