Ask Amy: Stressed out by disruptive colleague

DEAR AMY: I share office space with a colleague. Our space is detached from the rest of the office. My co-worker and I have very little in common, and by all indications she has no social life and shows signs of emotional instability (she has revealed to me that she is on anti-depressants). The problem is that my co-worker is constantly in my space, telling me her problems, making catty comments about co-workers and, worst of all, trying to arrange for us to spend time together socially outside of work. This creates real stress for me, Amy. My focus at work is on the tasks at hand, and I really have no interest in spending time with her outside of work. What is the best way to handle this situation without hurting my co-worker's feelings and causing uproar within the cozy confines of our professional setting? I try my best to be nice to her every day, but her insistent actions are disruptive, and I'm tired of having to avoid her social invitations.

--Frustrated at Work

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I gather you don't have a door you can close. Because of that you're going to have to create a virtual one. The boundaries you lay down will have to be finely drawn and emphasized, probably repeatedly.

Practice saying things like: "Erin, I'm sorry but I can't talk now; can you give me some privacy?" and, "I really don't want to get together outside of work." You shouldn't have to dodge someone to avoid invitations. But you do need to learn how to be clear, consistent and pleasant in your response.

Colleagues such as yours are what make the world, the workplace (and shows like "The Office") so challenging - but also colorful.

If you can't manage your work flow because of this distraction, involve management, but if there is anything endearing about your colleague, I suggest you locate and try to enjoy that trait.