Ask Amy: Tell freeloader to heave-ho-ho-ho

DEAR AMY: In January, I moved into a 500-square-foot studio apartment to finish my last year of college with no roommate hassles. In August, a friend told me that he was commuting three hours every day to school. I offered to let him stay for a month if he cleaned and help with the utilities. It's now December, and he is still sleeping on the couch. He has paid one bill and has never cleaned. He dropped out of school and blows all of his money. He used to be a good friend, so I'm having trouble telling him to pack up. Any suggestions?

-- Restless Roommate

DEAR RESTLESS: Well, your goals (no roommate hassles, help with the utilities) have gone unmet because there were no consequences and no specific end date attached to this arrangement.

I assure you that your friend knows the jig is up -- and he's biding his time lounging on your couch until you wise up. You have an advantage right now -- the turning of the calendar. Start the new year with a new attitude and an empty couch. Say to him, "Dude, I'm sorry this isn't working out anymore. You're going to have to move out by the first of the month. Let me know if you need a ride." Keep it simple and direct. Stay calm, firm and consistent.

DEAR AMY: My husband always robs me of the spirit of the holiday because he doesn't want to spend any money on Christmas. He also doesn't want to put up a tree or decorate the house. He thinks it is a waste. I am not extravagant, but he gives me a hard time about my spending and makes me feel as if I'm throwing money away. We both work and make a decent living. How can I get through another holiday without feeling like all of the joy of Christmas has been taken away from me?

-- Heartsick

DEAR HEARTSICK: Your husband may have his own complicated reasons for not enjoying Christmas. (In the Frank Capra holiday movie version of this, you would unlock the key to his grouchiness and fix your sadness at the same time.) Because this isn't likely to happen, you need a holiday buddy.

Celebrate with friends from work, attend a downtown production of "The Nutcracker," read books to kids, visit with seniors and ring the bell at a local Salvation Army's red kettle.

At home, do as you like within reason (holiday decorating and baking needn't be expensive) -- and if your husband doesn't like it, remind him that the dullness of January is right around the corner.

Some of your efforts may make you feel wistful. But I'd trade holiday sadness for wistfulness any year.

DEAR AMY: As holiday dinner invitations come in, I have a question.

Does Dinner at 6 p.m." mean Arrive at 6 and we might eat at 8"? Or does it mean food on the table pretty close to 6? Maybe munchies at 6 and dinner at 6:30? If I invite people for dinner at 6 should I time the meal to be ready then and have it dry out when people come later, assuming we will actually be eating later?

-- Wondering

DEAR WONDERING: Dinner at 6" means guests should arrive close to 6 p.m., enjoy drinks and munchies, and then sit down for the main meal close to 7.