Ask Amy: Workplace bun-check can be hostile

DEAR AMY:In an effort to build team spirit, our office had a group outing. My friend, an administrative assistant in the firm, had a meltdown, cried and panicked about the group activity we were going to do. Seeming to come to her aid, an elderly male principal in the firm calmed her down and offered to go for a walk. He persuaded her to visit the local women's art museum. Rather than view the paintings, he spent the entire time ogling my friend's behind. Every time she looked at him, his eyes were on her backside. She told me it was creepy and made her feel very uncomfortable. I've recommended she report this sexual harassment to the human resource office, but she's afraid, given his position in the firm, he'll retaliate. He's still ogling her behind whenever he thinks no one is looking. Should I report what I know? How can I help my friend?

--Worried in D.C.

DEAR WORRIED: You should encourage your friend to put this man on notice that she doesn't like what he's doing.

The next time she is aware of being ogled, she can say, "Oh 'Mr. Clark,' do I have something on my skirt? If not, I can't figure out why you keep looking back there. I want you to know that I don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable."

Excessive leering is not only rude but also intimidating, contributing to a hostile work environment.

Your friend should try to handle this on her own, but if she can't or if her effort to advocate for herself doesn't help (or if the ogling escalates), she should go to HR.

It is likely that this elderly male principal in the firm is a known ogler. It is entirely possible that HR won't do anything about it. But if HR puts him on notice that an employee had made a complaint and he retaliates against your friend, she would definitely have a sexual harassment case on her hands.

Smart executives don't want that kind of trouble.