Aunt's bewildered over ingratitude

DEAR AMY: Throughout high school, my nephew attended a boarding school in the town where my husband and I live. His parents live a distance away and so he spent most weekends and many holidays with us. We gave him the guest room, fed and entertained him and even lent him our car. He's a wonderful young man, and we had a great time. To congratulate him for graduating from high school and gaining acceptance to a prestigious college, we took him on a European vacation. We have not heard from him since the day we returned and he moved back home for the summer. He hasn't thanked us for such a generous graduation gift, never said goodbye when he left for college, and ignored my birthday. My sister tells me he spent the summer working and partying with old friends. Now he's busy with school. His sibling said he raved about the "awesome" trip. We have no reason to think he's upset or angry with us; the trip was indeed awesome -- we all had a ton of fun. We are terribly hurt and have no idea what to make of this. We are thinking of avoiding celebrating the holidays with their family this year; we don't think we can keep our feelings in check and want to avoid him.

--Bewildered Aunt

DEAR BEWILDERED: Don't avoid this issue.

Without question, you deserve to be thanked and acknowledged, but one source of your nephew's breach is his parents. They obviously have not prompted him to be thoughtful, and he is acting entitled. It's too bad they didn't raise him better.

Don't teach your nephew through your actions to avoid people when things get challenging.

You should tell him honestly that you had hoped to hear from him and are disappointed that he has not been in touch. Tell him you miss him.

Then you can all get a fresh start.