Best way to handle son's Facebook bully

Q. An acquaintance of my middle-school son posted a derogatory comment on my son's Facebook wall. Children have committed suicide over such cruel comments. Should I call the bully's parents? School? Police? The child doesn't go to the same school as my son.

A. First, print out the inappropriate post and keep it, advises Alane Fagan, executive director of the Roslyn-based Child Abuse Prevention Services, which recently opened a Bully Prevention Center. You can report the comment to Facebook by hovering over the X to the right of the post and choose "report abuse," says Nicky Jackson Colaco, Facebook public policy spokeswoman. Then, delete the post so it doesn't cause your son further anguish and block the bully by going to his Facebook profile and choosing "Block this person" on the lower left. This will cut off all contact. Meanwhile, your son should tell the bully to stop it.

Fagan doesn't recommend involving the bully's parents on a first offense, as parents may be defensive and escalate the situation. "You don't want to make this into a different issue, where you have parent against parent," she says. Unless it occurred during school hours, the school won't likely get involved, Fagan says. Still, bring it to the school's attention so administrators will realize they need more antibullying programming, she suggests. If harassment continues, that elevates it to the next level, Fagan says.

For more advice, call the Bully Prevention Center's new, confidential, free hotline at 516-621-0552, ext. 109, between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. weekdays or e-mail bullyhelpline@caps li.org.