Brother's addition to drink is draining

DEAR AMY: My brother has been struggling with alcohol addiction for many years.

He's bounced from place to place, and I feel this is because he is running from himself and his addiction. He found a well-paying job in my area and seemed to be on the upswing, so I invited him to live with me. He has since lost two jobs due to alcoholism and is now unemployed. He pawns things and uses the bus money I give him for his job search to buy alcohol. He has detoxed a few times, and we have attempted to get him into government-funded rehab. He refuses to go to AA. We can't afford to get him the help he seems to need. I have pleaded, cried, begged, screamed and done everything I can think of within my power to help and support him through this, but I don't think he wants to get better. I'm at the end of my rope; I think it's very selfish of him that I have to work so hard and do all of the responsible things while he gets to sit around wasted all day. But I can't kick him out; he has nowhere to go. Do you have any suggestions for me?Sorry Sister

DEAR SISTER: The first thing you should do is find a local Al-Anon meeting to attend.

You should pursue one-on-one counseling with a professional who has experience working with families of alcoholics. Contact your local department of Family and Children Services for low-cost help.

Your brother doesn't want anything to change, because his life is devoted to feeding his addiction, and your actions are enabling him to continue.

Having him live in your home while he's drinking is devastating and isn't helping him.

For inspiration, read "The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love," by Angelyn Miller (2008, Wheatmark).

Once you can come to terms with your inability to save or help him, you should ask him to leave your home until he is in recovery. Where he crashes is not your responsibility.