Burned by a roommate who now wants to be her pal

DEAR AMY: I moved to a new city six months ago and signed a lease to share a place with someone I knew in college. For the first few months, we had a good relationship. Then, unexpectedly, she announced that she wanted to move out in two weeks. That would have stuck me with the full rent if I couldn't find a new roommate. For two weeks, I scrambled to find someone new to live with. Worse, the reasons my roommate gave me for wanting to leave made me feel insecure. Then, as abruptly as she had told me she was moving out, she told me she had decided to stay. I accepted this because I had been unable to find anyone to take her place. She has gone back to being friendly and expecting me to do roommate activities, including cooking dinner and socializing together. I no longer wish to be her friend, but I am pleasant for the sake of a harmonious living situation. I will be moving out when the lease is up. How do I end this relationship without hard feelings? I am a conflict-averse person. I do not want to socialize with her after we no longer live together. I am getting married soon and do not want to invite her to the wedding. What is my obligation here?

--Done with Trouble

DEAR DONE: You are obligated to do your best to contribute to a peaceful and harmonious home.

You are not obligated to remain friends with someone who jerks you around.

The best way to do this is to be cordial, noncommittal and serene. Find a new place, make your plans and look forward to changing your living situation. If she shows an interest in continuing to room with you, you'll have to say, "I'm not comfortable with that idea." Think of it not as a confrontation but an explanation.

Your wedding guest list is between you and your fiance. Don't invite anyone you wouldn't want to see on your wedding day.