Can her 17-year-old boyfriend change?

DEAR AMY: My boyfriend and I are both 17 and juniors in high school. We were friends for more than a year before we started dating. Now we are totally in love and can see ourselves living together for the rest of our lives. I have been working hard this year to make good grades and to score well on my SATs. My boyfriend does not have enough credits to take the test; he also doesn't work very hard for his grades. I have told him that if he works hard now, he will do great in the long run. He says he'll try, but I don't see any effort. His parents couldn't care less about college. I told him he must go to college and that bombing on the SAT is not an option. The fact that he isn't trying his hardest now makes me think he won't try his hardest later on in life (in order to support a family). I've told him that if he does not work hard, I might not be there in the future, even though I really feel like we could last forever. How else can I get him to really understand how big of a deal this is? And what should I do if he still doesn't try hard enough?

In Love

 DEAR LOVE: Here's an SAT question for you: You are your boyfriend's: A) baby sitter B) girlfriend C) mommy

The correct answer is B.

Your guy is not a Gumby doll that you can bend and mold to your own design.

You are not in charge of his schoolwork, college plans or work ethic. You cannot fulfill his potential for him.

Although many a young slacker has been positively influenced by a more mature and focused romantic partner, your boyfriend will not grow up any faster just because you tell him to.

Imagine what it would be like if he never changed. If you would still want to be with him, regardless of his weaknesses and faults, then stay with him.

If you want your guy to be different, then you should find a different guy.