Caught in the middle of a family debt crisis

DEAR AMY: Years ago, my adult daughter and her husband took money from my blind, elderly mother. When I discovered this, we arranged for my daughter and her husband to sign a note agreeing to repay the money. My mother did not want my daughter to go to prison. She chose to be forgiving. My brother thought my daughter should be sent to prison. He did not speak to my mother for the rest of her life. When we gathered for Mom's funeral, I offered to repay the rest of the debt from any inheritance I received. Initially, my sister, the executor of the estate, said that what I did with the share of the money was up to me. When my children learned of my offer, they were upset with me, saying it is not my debt and not what their grandmother would have wanted. My daughter's husband passed away, and my daughter is struggling to support herself and her daughter. When I told my sister that my children did not think I should repay the debt, she said she and my brother are angry with me. They are both very well off and don't need the few thousand dollars we are talking about. I've tried to do what is right, but now I'm caught in the middle. I would appreciate your advice. Sacrificing Sister

DEAR SISTER: Your daughter doesn't demonstrate any intention of repaying the debt her theft has caused. She also doesn't want you to repay it.

And yet you should repay it. Parents aren't always responsible for repairing the dirty deeds of their children, but you have already assumed financial responsibility for your daughter (foolishly so, I believe).

It is not for you to decide what your mother would have wanted or whether your siblings really need the money. Repay the debt.

Your daughter needs to learn that people should make things right, no matter how long it takes. She should repay you the money she stole from your mother.