Classmate always mooches for rides

DEAR AMY: A girl in my class always asks me for rides after school and activities. My parents drive, and they are a bit fed up with the many requests and the distance to her house. She is always polite to them when we do drive her, but gas is expensive and she lives 20 minutes away. I've told her this, but she still asks! We've never hung out outside of school and sometimes when she asks, she pulls in more friends to give rides to saying, "Don't feel bad saying no, but . . . " I want to say, "You can't use me for rides!" or "Pay my parents gas money!" but I feel guilty. She's not rich, but then again, neither am I! I want to say something, but I'm not sure what.

--Baffled Classmate

DEAR CLASSMATE: Your parents are the ones doing the driving, and so if they no longer want to accommodate this girl, they should say, "I'm sorry, but going to your house adds too much time to our commute. We won't be able to drive you anymore unless it's an emergency." It's important to remember that anyone can ask for anything, and if the answer is yes some of the time, then the asker feels justified. It is not her fault if the request itself makes you uncomfortable -- that's your problem.

There is another way to go here, however. And that is to sigh, smile and give in.

She should never offer rides to others, of course, but if your folks can afford the money for gas, then why not just chalk this up as a nice thing your family is doing for someone else? You'd probably all feel better if you decided to just roll with it.

DEAR AMY: My daughter and I communicate through text messages throughout each day.

Her Mother's Day message to me was also a text. I found it hurtful and felt that a call would have been more appropriate. So in the text-versus-phone debate, I feel that the message content should dictate the method.

--Paula in Los Angeles

DEAR PAULA: I agree.