Dad takes a hurtful turn at supper

DEAR AMY: I need your advice on a delicate situation. I am a teenager in high school. Recently, I was making dinner for the family when my father came home. He yelled at me for forgetting something, and then, even though I was making dinner, he took my two sisters out to eat. The worst part is they didn't even tell me they were leaving. Do I have the right to be angry, and, if so, how do I confront my father? It's not the first time he's done something like this, and I've wanted to speak out for quite some time now, but I've always held my tongue.Angry Teen From N.C.

DEAR ANGRY: The time to speak your mind is -- always. You just need to make sure you are honest and respectful when you do.

Your father's behavior is very passive-aggressive. By taking off without telling you, he is trying to make a statement without using his words. This is somewhat cowardly, but your father's reasons for not speaking to you might be complicated. He might be very angry and not want to overreact out of anger. He might be one of those people who would do anything to avoid a confrontation -- and you can understand this instinct, because you are trying to avoid it, too.

Your father cannot read your mind, and you cannot read his. You can start your conversation by saying, "Dad, why did you take everybody to dinner the other night and leave me out?" He may explain that he's asked you umpteen times to do your dinner chores in a complete and timely fashion, and so he is trying to show you the consequences.

If you are at fault for some things, acknowledge it. You can then say how his actions made you feel (hurt, upset, sad and left out).

Because your father is the adult here, I believe he owes you an explanation and an apology for reacting so poorly. I hope he makes this choice, so you two can clear the air and get a fresh start.