Daughter's playdate invites lack responses

DEAR AMY: I am struggling to gain perspective on the phenomenon of unreturned phone calls. I have an only daughter in third grade. During the past couple of years, I have made more than a dozen phone calls, inviting classmates over for playdates, and my phone calls were never returned. I'm a pleasant, normal person who has a pleasant, normal daughter. Many of these parents have not met my daughter or me, and therefore could not have formed an unfavorable opinion of us. It seems most probable that these women are simply overwhelmed with their lives and let the phone call fall through the cracks. I know that people are so busy that setting up playdates is the furthest thing from their mind. But is this really the new acceptable etiquette? It leaves me in such a terrible place. Should I call back again? And again? It's so painful to have to tell my daughter when she asks if I invited a friend over (a friend who has expressed mutual interest in a playdate) that the invitation was issued but no response ever given. I'm also curious if your other readers have had similar experiences.

Baffled MotherDEAR BAFFLED:Most school directories list parents' contact numbers and e-mail addresses for work, home and cell phones. It is possible that you are leaving messages on phones the parents don't check regularly.

People might be less compelled to return a call from someone they've never met concerning a playdate with a child they don't know, but regardless of how busy everyone is, it is still rude not to call back.

Third-graders are just about old enough to make some of this contact themselves. You can help her navigate through this by teaching her to reach her friend directly.

I take your word that you and your daughter are pleasant people, but being ignored by a dozen people might be a sign that your daughter faces social challenges you're not aware of. Ask her teacher's advice.